Welcome To My Party...

I'm giving myself all day...until midnight on the dot...to cry. A lot. The ugly kind of cry, unless the boys are asking to dance or smile or eat or be kissed or hugged or tucked into bed. Other than those times, it's all about my pity party. Just today - and then I'm done.

Added to our emergency stash of rectal Diastat for Gavin's possible seizures...we are now adding an EPI pen.

Brian has a peanut allergy that prompted the doctor to give me an unsolicited hug with an "I'm so sorry...this is so disappointing." that made me feel like I was at a viewing. He is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts, like cashews. She did test him for Gluten and Wheat ALLERGY, which came up negative. But she agreed that he likely has a Gluten and Wheat INTOLERANCE once I told her the changes I've seen since eliminating them from his diet. It might all be a coincidence, but his bowels have improved...his speech has improved...and his behavior has improved.

Brian was an angel during the testing. My secret weapon was to give him MY iPad which has Angry Birds on it. It's such a treat for him to play that game.

And the nice nurse who did his testing offered him a lollipop which is also a rare treat. He was in Heaven.

Meanwhile, Gavin was the ever patient brother. He's used to being the patient so laying back and relaxing while his little brother was getting the needles was just fine with him. But there's bad news with Gavin, too.

He has been suffering with seasonal allergies this week - and I thought that was it. But this morning I noticed a change. His mucous was thicker and he was struggling more to manage it in his throat. The allergist confirmed that it looks like he has a cold...AGAIN!

So he's really struggling with allergies and a cold, poor kid. And Brian could be right behind him. I noticed congestion with him today as well. And lots of pointing to his nose which is my cue that he needs a tissue.

So. If I was afraid to send my kids to school or on a bus before this...now I'm terrified. One who might have a seizure. One who might need emergency epinephrine. I know there are lots of kids who manage both. And I know that there are lots of labeled foods that make it easier on parents. And I know that Brian will get used to what he can and can't eat as he gets older. But today I just want to wallow. Tomorrow I'll be fine and we'll get on with it. We'll do what we have to do and not complain.

But today - I shall cry.