Monday, April 28, 2014

The Sky Was the Limit...

When Ed and I were dating - and then married before kids - we would often go to Dim Sum in Philadelphia's Chinatown.  But then Gavin came along and we stopped going places for quite a long time.  It was just too complicated for various reasons.  Gavin had severe reflux and car rides were torturous for all... for a while he was overstimulated by noisy places... we couldn't go anywhere for too long because he needed his own food prepared a certain way... and sometimes, it was just too much work.  So we stayed home.  The last couple years of his life, though, Gavin became more independent... more laid back... and he needed less coddling in noisy places.  We were enjoying taking him to new places... going on adventures as a family... and it was starting to seem like the sky was the limit.  Ed and I talked often about how we couldn't wait to take the boys to Disney World.

And then he died.

This past Sunday morning, we decided to go to Dim Sum with Brian and Hope.  
Brian tried several new dishes (we were so proud!) and got chopstick lessons from his Daddy!
Hope was a breeze.  We packed some extra diapers, an extra outfit and that was that.  
Back in the day, Ed and I would meander around Chinatown after Dim Sum.  We'd stop at the grocery store... we'd walk the streets leisurely... and we'd always make a trip to the bakery to bring home some treats.  We did all of those things with Brian and Hope.
It was such an easy day.  Brian is amused and entertained by everything.  And Hope is so portable.  I could feed her anywhere - and it wasn't hard to find places to change her diapers.  Everything was so easy...
...and it broke my heart.

Gavin should have been there with us.  The sky was the limit for him... 



8 comments:

  1. He was there, you just couldn't see him.

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  2. I am so sorry for the loss of dear, sweet Gavin that is always heavy on your heart. But please try to let yourself feel some joy by being out and about with your Babes...Gavin would be happy about that. Hugs to you.

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  3. I love that you are doing all these new things with your family and HOpe is experiencing them too! Trust me, Gavin would be soooooooooo happy and proud to see you all enjoying life and remembering him whilst doing it. It's what he would have wanted. Also, my boys love training chopsticks, Brian may too!

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  4. He was there and he was so happy!!

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  5. He would be happy that Brian and Hope are having new adventures, keep strong, you are such an amazing lady. Hugs all round. x

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  6. THANK YOU KATE...FOR SHOWING US YOUR HEART AND LAETTING US IN YOU FAMILIES LIFE. GAVIN WAS SURLEY THERE WALKING WITH YOU ALL AND LOVING THE EXPERIENCE. BUT YOU ARE RIGHT....AND AS A MOTHER I FEEL THE SAME AS YOU....LITTLE GAVIN SHOULD OF BEEN THERE IN YOUR ARMS AND LAUGHING AND LOVING THE DAY WITH HIS BROTHER AND HOPE.
    YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION...I DRAW SO MUCH HOPE FROM YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. BUT TEARS FALL LIKE RAIN FOR YOU ALSO. WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO BE SOMETIMES?
    KEEP TELLING YOUR STORY PLEASE AND I WILL GET READING AND GLEEN SO MUCH FROM YOU. THANK YOU AGAIN.
    LOVE, BILLIE HAINES....WARSAW, OHIO

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  7. We don't know you personally but we identify. We longed for our own precious Baby Reagan to be able to enjoy all the things other children could. She never did BUT NOW she is free to be all she was created to be...in a perfect place!! I bet she and Gavin are good friends, enjoying walking, running, laughing and more! We wouldn't want them to come back, no matter how much we miss them.

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