Choosing Love is Mandatory...

Three years ago on this day, we followed our son's hospital bed as it was wheeled down the hall and into surgery. We kissed him goodbye one last time and stood together in silence as the doors closed. We watched until they were out of sight before slowly walking away. Walking away was probably the hardest thing we've ever had to do... knowing that we would be entering the biggest, longest waiting room of our lives. But there was one thing that brought us comfort. Gavin was an organ donor. When his surgery was complete, two beautiful kidneys were on their way to a gentleman who is still doing well to this day, thank God.  

After Gavin's death, we had choices to make. To us, they were obvious ones. We chose life. We chose joy. We chose to not let losing Darcy and now Gavin rip our marriage apart. We chose to honor their lives by living ours - and being the best parents we could be for Brian... and now, Hope. 

The morning of my birthday on the very day Gavin died, his wonderful nurse came to work with a birthday cake for me. Can you imagine? She actually ordered a cake ahead of time and picked it up on her way to the hospital. I was stunned. She had them write on the cake, "Celebrate Life - Gavin and Mommy." I loved it so much that I only want that on my birthday cake for the rest of my days. It is now a sweet tradition.

It has also become a tradition to celebrate my birthday and Gavin's anniversary in fun ways as a family. It started last night with a fun birthday dinner. 

I loved watching Brian's eyes light up when I told him he would be skipping school the next day! We had celebrating to do! 

Our day today was jam packed. We went to a morning movie at the Movie Tavern and saw "Zootopia!" As it turns out, morning movies on a weekday are a great idea when you bring a two year old along as the place was mostly empty. Hope sat in her seat - for about ten minutes, tops. Good times. Not so good that I'd do it again in the next two years... but I guess it wasn't that bad. 

Brian, of course, was thrilled to be there. The two of us LOVE seeing movies at the Movie Tavern!

After the movie, we went to a nearby park. It was a gorgeous day!

We ALL had our matching "Super G" shirts on, which has also become a tradition.

Hope has the same fearless nature that Gavin had. You could never swing him too high or spin him too fast and he never met a slide that was too steep. I have stopped panicking as much when Hope wants to attempt something that seems beyond her age. She is so tough!!

And Brian, who has always been the more cautious one, is getting bolder every day. I love watching him dote on and protect his little sister - but she also pushes him to experience new things.

They definitely balance each other out.

I am sure that Gavin was happy as he watched us enjoying the sunshine and smiles.

We couldn't end the day without a trip to Arnold's Family Fun Center. It was one of Gavin's favorite places!

Brian racked up ego points playing Skee Ball.

Hope found and gently kissed every animal...

...and I had a flashback of a fun "love bomb" date I had with Gavin a mere five months before he died.

But the kids had the most fun going down the bouncy slides.

Hope has reserved her biggest smiles for her big brother from her first smile until now. They just adore each other.

Choosing life can be easy. Choosing joy can be challenging. Choosing love is mandatory.

As I rest my head on my pillow tonight, I can feel sure that Gavin had a great day.

And so did we.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you to everyone who has purchased a book for Gavin's Usborne "bookraiser!" I decided to celebrate his love of books by asking people to purchase books for their own children, a charity that means something to them or two organizations that meant something to us as a way to honor Gavin on this difficult anniversary. You can find all the details about how you can get involved in THIS POST. Or you can just skip right to the shopping page, which you can find HERE. Whether you purchase a book for you or for someone else, I get "hostess credits." I intend to turn those credits around to purchase MORE books for two organizations we've chosen - the Child Life Department at duPont Hospital and the Chester County Intermediate Unit. Gavin's Usborne shopping link will be open until April 24th. Feel free to share it with your family and friends! The whole idea is to share Gavin's love of books - and all around happy spirit - with children far and wide. 

Thank you, as always, for loving our little family... and remembering our special little boy.

That Time That The Readers Saved The Day...

So, Monday morning I woke up feeling inspired.

"Today," I proclaimed in the mirror, "I'm going to get stuff done."

I was going to take Brian to Science Camp... I was going to run errands... I was going to rearrange... and I was going to get Brian to swimming - and not just get him there, I was going to be early.

The first thing on the list after breakfast was to rearrange the room that Brian sleeps in.  (That will be revealed tomorrow!)  Brian wanted a change - I think he was inspired by the playroom redo!  He's still sleeping in Gavin's room and does NOT want to leave.  But he also doesn't want to change too much of it.  We had a long talk about Gavin's room... and his room across the hall... and how we don't know what to call either room anymore.  Brian decided that Gavin's room should be called the "Brian-Gavin Room."  And so it will be.  I'll write more details about the room decisions tomorrow.

So there we were - moving furniture and laughing away in the "Brian-Gavin Room" when I realized it was 11am.  We had to get going to Science Camp!  I got both kids ready and buckled into their carseats when I felt like I forgot something.  I ran inside and stood in the kitchen for a moment and even said out loud, "What did I forget?"  I landed on nothing - but before I went back outside, something made me look at the calendar.  There it was... in pen:

Monday:  Science Camp 10:30am.

Science Camp was over. 

So back out to the car I went - unbuckled both kids - and hung my head.  I told Brian the truth and apologized to him and he sweetly said, "That's ok, Mom.  I forgive you!  It was a mistake, right?"

I felt awful.

So I took to my Facebook page and turned to my readers.  I thought they could help me come up with some simple Science experiments we could do together that day.  Sure, I could have googled it myself... but I knew it would turn into a handy reference list that I (and many of my readers!) could go back to for new ideas!

Boy, did they save the day.  I have over 350 comments with so many different experiments!  We chose two to do that afternoon.  The first was making "Tie Dye Milk" with whole milk, food coloring and Dawn dish soap.  It was pretty hilarious.  If it looks like Brian has a bit of OCD in this video, I can assure you - he doesn't.  But he is a little bit like his Mommy in that he doesn't care to get messy.  Not the worst trait in the world.  Ha!  And I think you'll enjoy Hope stealing the show in the background.  Oh, and the experiment is cool, too...  

...and take two...

Next we did a "Dancing Raisins" experiment.  You pour Ginger Ale (or any clear soda, I suppose) in a glass container - and then you drop some raisins in. 

 The bubbles catch under the raisins and lift them up - and then they drop back down - and so on and so on.  Take a look...

It turned into a fun afternoon.  Until we were late for swimming.

But then I woke up Tuesday morning and proclaimed, "Today I'm going to get stuff done - and get to swimming early!"

We started off the morning at the movies!!  Our local "Movie Tavern" has "Flapjacks and Flicks" every Tuesday and Wednesday in the Summer.  The movie playing was "Turbo."  Brian was a little bummed because he wanted to see Disney's "Planes: Fire and Rescue."  When we got to the theater to buy the tickets we were told that, due to an error, "Turbo" wouldn't be showing.  BUT... for the same $5.00 price, would we mind seeing "Planes: Fire and Rescue" instead?

SCORE!!

It always takes a couple minutes for Brian to get used to the loud volume.  (Quite frankly - it takes me longer!)  The movie was adorable and we had a great time.  Hope was great and ended up falling asleep about twenty minutes after the movie started and woke up when the credits were rolling!

When we got home, Brian and I sat and played Legos in the "Brian-Gavin" room while Hope played happily in Gavin's bed!  I zipped her in with some toys and she was thrilled.  Then Brian wanted me to read his book, "I Love You, Stinky Face!" to her.  The safe bed would come in handy later in the day as we worked on a secret project for Hope.  (You'll see!  All will be revealed tomorrow...)

Tuesday redeemed Monday.  I was even early for Brian's swim class!  This week the instructor lifts him up in the air and drops him into the water.  He has to get his way to the top... turn himself around... and float on his back.  I'm hoping to capture a video of him during class so I never forget this, but so far the lighting has been too dark. The first time he went under it felt like a year until he came back up - and then, through the glass, I could see him struggling and could tell he was yelling out.  The instructor was right there next to him - but they really are hard core and try not to intervene unless they absolutely have to.  Eventually Brian did get himself turned around and on his back.  And then the next time he did it - he was a little better.  I thought for sure he was going to come out of the pool upset with himself for struggling - and saying he didn't like what happened.

I was wrong.

He came out of the pool confident.  "Did you see me, Mom?  Wasn't I awesome?"

"Yes,"  I answered.  "You were so brave."

Hey!  I joined Instagram!  Well, technically, I "re-joined" Instagram.  Yesterday I went to sign up - only to realize I already had.  A long time ago.  Whoopsie!  I even chose a name:  Kategavinsmom

Here was my fist picture on Instagram:

My niece convinced me to do Instagram...so I went here to sign up only to realize I've had a profile here for some time and forgot. Story of my life. Since I chose the username "KateGavinsMom" I figured my first Instagram photo should be in honor of him. Also the story of my life. Almost everything I do is in honor of Gavin.