Hope and Possibilities...

This has been one of the craziest days in a long time. A whirlwind day! It all started at midnight when I woke up - and couldn't fall back asleep. It felt like I laid awake all night long. Then, at 5am, I heard Brian crying. That doesn't happen very often that either of the kids wake up crying. I had the brilliant idea to bring him into his big boy bed with the hopes that we could both fall asleep in there together. Bad idea. He did lay there for a while - cutely pulling the covers up under his chin and then holding my hand under the covers. But then he popped up and wanted it to be story time. After a short while I put him back in his crib and he was not happy. He was pretty much up from that point on. Unprecedented in this house.

Before noon it was a madhouse here. People coming to the door - landscapers needing my attention (they were putting down mulch) - a representative from the car dealer came to pick up my car and needed me for about a half hour - phone ringing off the hook - I was racing from one thing to another to another.

We put the boys down for a morning nap because we had a playdate planned for the afternoon. I was SURE that Brian would fall asleep after his early morning. I was wrong. As I sat at the island paying bills and listening to the boys playing on the monitors, the phone rang.

It was Gavin's geneticist with some pretty interesting news. Gavin's last round of intensive genetic testing was back in 2007 when he was just a baby. Thanks to scientific advances, there was updated and improved testing available which he had a few weeks ago. This array showed a small deletion on his third chromosome. It may mean something - it may mean nothing. The deletion, she told me, was a "familial variant" which means that he would have inherited this from me or Ed. She told me that both of us would need to get blood tests so they could pursue this further. They also decided to pursue a syndrome that I came across. I have, for lack of a better word - a "hobby" - of googling syndromes and disorders all through the night. The one I found, however, wasn't from my regular "research". A friend asked how I found all these "possible diagnoses" on the internet and told me some physical characteristics of her son that concerned her. I said, "You just google each of the characteristics and see what pops up" - which I did. Up popped "FG Syndrome". I read it with my mouth open. It was like reading Gavin's biography. So, tomorrow he will have new blood drawn at the hospital. They will then send his DNA to Boston University to pursue the possibility of FGS. This is all very exciting to me. I know that it could lead to a dead end - but I'm also hopeful that we are close to an explanation as to why Gavin is the way he is. I have written before that it won't change anything in our eyes - but it will be nice to know "why" and "what now".

Shortly after the phone call, Gavin's hearing teacher arrived for her monthly visit to check on him.

We chatted about the lack of changes in Gavin's hearing (which is a great thing!) and we even chatted about Brian's upcoming hearing evaluation (August 3rd).

We always love seeing Miss Carol. She's such a big part of our lives.

About ten minutes after Carol left, my friend Elaine arrived with her gorgeous son Cooper for a playdate!

Isn't he adorable???

Brian was in love with beautiful Elaine immediately...

...and was showing off like a maniac the entire playdate.

When I say maniac, I mean completely bonkers. Out of his mind. Between the playdate and the lack of sleep - Katja and I were looking at each other dumbfounded. Brian was acting completely out of character. Unless this is now the "new Brian" - in which case I'm going to look into the exchange policy I came home from the hospital with.

But the show must go on - so Elaine and I continued to try to talk over Brian's shrieking and show off antics. And I just kept staring at little Cooper - his dimples just stole my heart!

Elaine was a teacher and has such a way with kids. At one point, they were "bug hunting" out the front window. Brian just couldn't get enough of her!

We ended the playdate when it was time for the boys' snacks and I snuck in a group shot before Cooper had to go home. We had such a good time.

I brought Brian up for a nap and he seemed grateful for the "downtime" - he went right into his crib and fell asleep within seconds. I think Gavin was happy for the "quiet time", too, and the two of us just laid on the playroom floor to breathe. It had been a long day. As we laid there, Gavin turned over and sweetly touched my face and I felt a lump form in my throat. So many nights over the last 3 1/2 years I have stared at the ceiling with tear stained cheeks. I've gone over every minute of my pregnancy - sure I was somehow to blame. And now...to think that we may be close to an explanation. And knowing that the explanation could mean I could stop destroying myself with guilt. And wondering if a diagnosis will help us help him in ways that we aren't already...it's all just overwhelming to me.

Lounging at the Pool...

We had a pool playdate this morning!! Our neighbor-friends, Lauren and Gabe, invited us over to swim. Brian was very excited to see his buddy, Eli - Ed was excited because he loves to swim with Gavin - and I couldn't wait to get my hands on their brand new baby, Ryan.

Brian wore a brand new floatie-suit that his Daddy bought him. He looked absolutely hysterical in it. A cross between "Hanz & Franz" the bodybuilders and "The Michelin Man".

He strutted around the house super confident...even taking the time to brush his hair before we left.

But then we got there. All of a sudden he was Mr. Shy! He refused to swim - instead wanting to lounge over by the chairs...right near a lounging baby Ryan. Is he a gorgeous baby, or what??

Eli waited patiently for Brian to swim with him. His enthusiasm for the water just wasn't enough to entice Brian, though, so he went off to swim with his Daddy.

Gavin was a fish, as usual. He loves to swim with Ed and practically fell asleep in his new float!

Later on in the afternoon we ran some errands. First stop was Toys r Us to buy a baby pool. I know what you're thinking! "What happened to that huge 'baby pool'? You know, the one that could hold a thousand babies??" Good question. Turns out it was a huge pain. It wouldn't hold air...and it was very difficult to drain. I found we barely used it because my crippled hands couldn't lift it to get the water out! And standing there for a half hour bucketing the water out was not appealing anymore. So we treated ourselves (now that they're on clearance to make room for the back to school merchandise!!) to a cheapo plastic pool.

I learned my lesson - do it the old fashioned way.

The next stop was the grocery store. We needed food for the week (and our family dinners!). I'm always looking for new things to try with the boys. Last week I picked up "Goldfish Bread" for Brian - thin bread shaped like Goldfish crackers. He wasn't a fan, which shocked me. Today I picked up Coconut Milk for Gavin. He LOVED it!!! I wrote in a previous post that I was going to try giving Gavin Kefir to drink once a day to help with his motility. I was hoping to replace his one teaspoon a day of MiraLax with that. Well, that didn't go well. There was no guarantee that he'd drink enough Kefir to help him to "go". We still offered it, but we couldn't count on it as a motility agent. I wish we didn't need to give Gavin anything, but unfortunately his low tone makes it very difficult to have a bowel movement. It's heartbreaking when he struggles.

Boy, the things we take for granted, right. Having Gavin in my life means I appreciate everything. He has taught me more in 3 1/2 years than I'd learn in a lifetime of schooling.

Awww, Look at the Twins!...

Last night Ed and I took the boys to the grocery store so Ed could test out our new double stroller. He gave it the "thumbs up" after navigating through the busy market! I noticed a lot of people doing double takes and smiling and for two seconds I thought they might be admiring my swanky new stroller. Then I realized that the boys were sitting side by side in coordinating outfits. It was the old, "Awww, look at the twins!" looks we were getting. Makes me laugh every time. I am not complaining...trust me. A woman who dresses her NON twin children in matching or coordinating outfits is asking for it. *wink*

We went to the grocery store so I could pick up some things for our play/lunch date today! My friend, Elayne (whose shore house we stayed in a couple weeks ago) came over with her kids, Ali and Drew. We packed in a lot of fun!

The kids started off on the swingset. Ali loved the tire swing!

And drew quickly conquered the rock wall which was very impressive!

I brought our electric car out of the garage and the kids had a ball driving all over the place.

Brian even helped out when Drew couldn't get up the hill.

He loved having kids around to play with. He watched their every move.

Gavin was happy in the swing with Miss Katja pushing him.

After a little while we got the kids in their bathing suits and played in the pool on the deck. I didn't take any photos of pool time. You can address your complaints to the email on the right. The pool fun didn't last long before it was time for lunch! I made a salad that my Mom made for us not too long ago. It was regular bag Iceberg lettuce, sliced strawberries, Craisins, glazed walnuts and a Raspberry Walnut Vinaigrette dressing. It wasn't as good as my Mom's, but that's no surprise. *smile*

We had a nice time sitting on the deck. Gavin, especially, who laughed through most of his meal!

After the playdate was over, the boys went down for naps and I ran to the mall to pick up a bathing suit for the weekend. When I got home there was a message on my machine from Elayne. She had taken Drew to the YMCA for a class and she had to call me to tell me that there were only two other kids in the class with him. Two girls. Their names? Darcy and Claire. It made my day. Darcy has been on my mind quite a bit lately.

We may have to change our weekend plans! I won't know for sure until tomorrow when I get an ultrasound - but it's possible I will need to be home on Monday to pay a visit to the infertility doctor. I had forgotten that these injections speed up the process of ovulation! When I go in tomorrow morning they will check to see how my body is responding to the medication and come up with a plan. I really hope we don't have to come home early - but if we do, I hope it will pay off with a baby!! Ed and I and the boys may drive to New Jersey tomorrow and stay overnight in a hotel before meeting up with my family on Saturday. They can't check in to their house until 2pm on Saturday. Going down the night before means less 4th of July traffic and more time at the beach with the boys! We can't wait.

Crisis Averted...

Everyone can breathe...the crisis has been averted. I had an incident yesterday at the Allergist that sent me into PANIC MODE. I dropped my camera and the lens shattered. My camera...or my extra appendage as I sometimes refer to it. Luckily, the only thing that shattered was a UV lens that I screw onto the actual camera lens. Everything else was intact and working fine. But when it dropped, the lens was jammed and I couldn't unscrew it. I went to two camera stores and was told that they'd have to send it out for two to three weeks. TWO TO THREE WEEKS? Clearly they do not know how much I depend on this camera. I was able to find a store an hour away that would fix it on the spot for me, so a big chunk of today was spent doing that. My camera is now good as new...and has a new UV filter on the lens. Thank GOD!

Can we just stop for a moment and imagine what my life would be like without my camera? Ok, let's not. It's a terrible thought. It was bad enough I had to improvise yesterday and screw on my zoom lens. When Ed was pushing the boys on the swings I had to run halfway across my neighbor's yard in order to get a picture!

(That part was hilariously inconvenient)

This morning I headed to the fertility clinic to get an ultrasound. They wanted to check on the progress of the egg follicles we're trying to produce. Initially they estimated that I would not be ready to ovulate until Sunday...but my body really responded to the injections! There were several egg follicles that will be ready to release during ovulation Friday or Saturday!

The plan is to do one final injection tonight...and then tomorrow I give myself what's called an HCG trigger shot. This will trigger ovulation just at the right time when my follicles are the perfect size. It also dumps extra progesterone into my body, which is needed in order to support an early pregnancy. Let's hope it results in that! After that, we sit and wait and pray and cross our fingers. Well, after a few other activities that need not be mentioned here. *wink*

The timing is the best. After Saturday, I am free from doctor visits. They wanted me to come back next Wednesday for a second HCG shot - but I told them I could do it on my own. Why? Because we are taking a VACATION!!! We will likely leave Monday and head to Ocean City, NJ for a few days. Our friends, Geoff and Elayne (the family that adopted our dog, Lucy, from us after we found out Gavin was allergic) have offered us their shore house for the week! We are so excited and can't WAIT to bring the boys to the beach...to the boardwalk...and just be together as a family. Miss Katja is thrilled to have some unexpected time off, too!

Elayne and her children, Ali and Drew, came by for a playdate this afternoon and it was a lot of fun.

I think Gavin was in love with Ali - following her right into the Jump-O-Lene!

Brian took a bit to warm up, but then had a fun time playing trucks with Drew.

It was just too hot to go out on the swingset today. We're having a bit of a heatwave in Pennsylvania! Hopefully it will pass and next week we'll have nice weather at the beach.

Did I mention we're going to the BEACH!?!?!?! Yippee!!!