Butterflies...

I woke up this morning with butterflies. Today was the day Brian and I were visiting a potential school for him. The school that was recommended because of his speech delay. I spent more time than usual choosing his outfit and smoothing out his hair.

I'm not quite sure why I was so anxious. Perhaps it's because it seemed like such a big day - a rite of passage. Maybe it's because I was so against sending Gavin to school and I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to feel about sending Brian. Maybe it's because I was afraid I would hate it. Or that Brian would hate it.

And to be honest...I was also afraid I would love it.

Aunt Bean got here to stay with Gavin and Brian and I made our way over to the school in the rain. It's definitely close enough - about 10-15 minutes from our home. Under our shared umbrella, Brian held my hand and jumped in every puddle we passed as we walked to the door. We were greeted by Jessica, the service coordinator from the county. She was Gavin's coordinator as well and was so wonderful when I told her I didn't want to send him to school last year. Miss Janna, Gavin's teacher, was there to greet us, too! She and Miss Maggie share an office in the school. We walked down the hallway to the classroom and it was clear when we got to the door that they were expecting us.

It was snack time when we arrived. Two boys and two girls sat in little cube chairs around a table. I soon heard "I want to meet him - can I go meet him?" when one of the boys knew that a new kid was standing outside. By this time, Brian was hiding his eyes and backing up away from the door. I picked him up and we walked into the classroom. The kids went around their table and introduced themselves, which was so cute! Brian kept his hands over his eyes. Then they moved over to the "dramatic play" area where they had a toy kitchen and store. Brian kept his hands over his eyes. They pretended to blend fruit in a blender...to shop for food and bring it to the cash register...and to drink tea. Brian kept his hands over his eyes. At one point a cute little boy went up to Brian and confidently confronted him. "Why are you doing that? I want to play with you!!"

I didn't expect to like it. But I did. Brian slowly warmed up and, although he remained quiet and a bit shy, I could tell he liked it, too. The teachers were warm and inviting. The classroom was bright and organized. The daily schedule seemed fun and consistent. The teacher has a communication book that goes back and forth each day so we can write notes to each other. And my biggest fear - that Brian would be in a classroom of kids who had the same speech delays as he did? Erased within the first half a minute. To be honest, I have no idea what any of the other kids' issues are. Not a clue. They seemed completely typical to me!

I had one important question for the teacher.

I asked, "So...have you ever had an overprotective Mom stop by to peek into the classroom...or spy through the windows? I mean - I've heard about these kind of crazy Moms I'm not saying I am one or anything."

"No, I really haven't," she replied.

Crap. Well, I guess there's always a first.

I haven't 100% made up my mind, but I will say that I am not opposed to this school for my little guy. The program is Monday through Thursday from 8:45 - 11:30. They do have bus transportation. I'll give you three guesses if I'd use it. And the first two guesses don't count.

Would you like to know what Brian's opinions are? Check out my post-visit interview with him...