Chasing Rainbows: Just That Quickly...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Just That Quickly...

...it's over.

I just got the call from the fertility doctor. My beta number went from 89 to an 82. They told me to stop all of my medications and come back on Tuesday for a repeat blood test. They need to follow my number down to zero to be sure the pregnancy is gone.

Needless to say, I'm crushed. Pissed. Devastated.

Needless to say I am boycotting fairy tales from now on. And, come to think of it, re-runs of the Ghost Whisperer, too.

And needless to say, I feel sad. I really believed that with all that was stacked against me over the last few weeks, that God wouldn't take this from me.

Needless to say, I was wrong.

Ed is taking me for a change of scenery for a couple days. I'm sorry to leave you again, but I won't be back until Sunday or Monday on this blog. I just want to be invisible, needless to say.

UGH.

9 comments:

N and Z MomNovember 17, 2011 at 3:12 PM
I am so very sorry. I hope that the time away will help you to heal, even if its just a tiny bit.............
ReplyDelete
Replies
Heather KellyNovember 17, 2011 at 3:20 PM
You need to do what you feel is right for you. I am so sorry Kate.
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 4:07 PM
I'm so sorry Kate...I think we were all thinking this would be "the one". This hope was getting you through and I'm just so sorry. I know you are crushed right now...so I will keep hoping FOR you - and when you are ready to hope again, I'll be there hoping WITH you.
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 4:36 PM
I'm so sorry.
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 4:51 PM
Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss. :( No words of wisdom, just a hug. I'm still praying.

Sofia
ReplyDelete
Replies
susanNovember 17, 2011 at 5:52 PM
Oh, Kate. I am just so sorry, shocked and very sad. Like you, I really thought this was it. It just seemed so right...so perfect. Those fairy tales just totally suck sometimes, don't they? I haven't given up though. I'm still praying and holding on to hope that maybe when you least expect it, it'll happen. Wish I could give you a big hug right now. You and Ed go escape and we'll be here for you when you get back.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Melissas Midnight MusingsNovember 17, 2011 at 7:42 PM
I'm so sorry, I was really hoping that this would have a positive outcome for you after all you have been through lately.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Ellen SeidmanNovember 17, 2011 at 10:56 PM
Kate. I'm sorry too. I am sorry for this crazy roller coaster you are forced to be on. I am glad, however, that you and Ed are getting away for a couple of days. You need and deserve that. xo
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousNovember 26, 2011 at 8:57 AM
So sorry for this loss and all the other losses you've experienced lately. I'll be thinking of you. Hope the getaway helped some.
Lisa F.
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Gavin's Playground Project

Gavin's Playground Project was born from my desire to see an "All Abilities" playground built at Nemours/A.I. duPont Hospital for Children in Wilmington, Delaware. This is the hospital where Gavin spent a lot of time during his life... and where he ultimately died, surrounded by friendly and familiar faces. To mark the one year anniversary of his death, I held a fundraiser on April 5, 2014. You can read all about it in THIS post.

We raised a LOT of money, but not enough for a playground! If you would like to contribute to help make this playground a reality - so no kids will ever have to sit on the sidelines watching their peers play - you can contribute directly to the hospital through the Chasing Rainbows fundraising page HERE. Your donation will go directly to the hospital for the playground and is tax deductible. You can also create your own fundraising team page and start collecting donations in honor of anyone you want!! There is also a mailing address on their page if you prefer to mail a check. Designate your contribution in memory of Gavin Leong - or write in that this is for the playground so your dollars will go to the right place. Thank you for your support of Gavin's Playground Project!

Gavin's Trust Project

I created "Gavin's Trust Project" to help support Gavin's friends who receive services from the Chester County Intermediate Unit in Pennsylvania. I wanted to continue to try to "make the impossible... possible" for kids like Gavin, knowing well how hard it can be to get much needed "special needs" items. It makes me happy to know that even after his death, Gavin continues to help others. Click HERE to learn more about the Trust Project! All of your donations, big and small, will be added to Gavin's Trust Project to help therapists and teachers get what they need for children in this program. You can write a check made out to CCIU and mail it to: Chester County Intermediate Unit, c/o Deb Hiller, 455 Boot Rd., Downingtown, PA 19335. Please be sure to add "Gavin's Trust Project" in the memo. Thank you on behalf of me and my little superhero!