Project Hope...

I want to tell you a little story.

The morning of my 43rd birthday, April 14th, I woke up in bed next to Gavin and was overcome with emotion.  I knew that this was the day that we would be told that Gavin was gone. As I held his hand and stared into his beautiful face... I was just overcome with an overwhelming feeling.

That feeling has since been confirmed.  Multiple times.

This is Project Hope:

(I thought I had it in focus - but it was hard to tell through my tears.  You get the idea, though)

The day we got home from the hospital, April 15th, Ed and I took a home test and... sure enough... positive.  We stood there for what seemed like an hour.  Shocked.  Stunned.  Scared.  Overwhelmed.  This was definitely a surprise.

It is still very early.  This morning we saw the heartbeat and I felt like I was able to breathe again.  But with 12 miscarriages and a stillbirth behind us, we are cautiously optimistic.  I am trying not to think too much that "this baby was sent from Heaven!" - because it would be a devastating loss if things didn't work out.  This is also an impossible project for me to hide.

But the biggest reason I am sharing this news is because of all of you.  There is so much positive energy coming our way from each and every one of you.  There are so many heartfelt and steadfast prayers coming our way, too, and we need them.  We need them now more than ever.

Welcome to the rollercoaster that is my life.  If you're planning on sticking around, I suggest that you buckle up.

Please helps us HOPE this baby born next December.