I'll never learn. I noticed yesterday that Gavin and Brian were getting a bit shaggy - hair falling over their ears which is one of my pet peeves. I put a call in to their regular hairdresser and, understandably, she was booked. It is days before the Easter holiday so I wasn't surprised. I went back and forth and back and forth - should I skip an Easter haircut or run to the local Hair Cuttery. It plagued me, this decision. And yes, I know that is a little bit weird - but what can I say? I love a short, military like haircut on my boys. Perhaps it's my Dad's Navy influence?
So...I did it. This morning Miss Sara and I took the boys to Hair Cuttery. I somehow blocked out the last time we went there and got hideous cuts. But it all came back to me when I got the boys home and gave them a good once over.
Oh my God. What have I done? These cuts are beyond bad.
Clearly Brian feels the same way...
And Gavin. His cut is so ridiculous - ending in weird places and almost looking like a grown in mohawk on top.
It's hair - it will grow. And hopefully I will learn from this experience. Ugh.
So, to cheer us all up - I thought I'd show you Brian's finished room!! The theme is not just "Nautical" - but it's a tribute to my Dad. Brian's "Pop" was a Navy Captain!
Next to Brian's name is his moon that looks very authentic when lit up at night! When the drapes are closed it gets very dark in his room.
Between the Twilight Turtle illuminating stars on the ceiling and the moon lit up, it's almost like he's looking up into Heaven at night.
Hey, remember yesterday when I showed photos of the bedding I liked for Brian's big boy bed?
Yeah, about that...
Brian would like to show you his new bedding set and explain how he feels about it. Watch this...
The comforter is a down alternative - very thin - and it feels like silk.
I was able to get the comforter, sheets, pillow cases and shams and bedskirt which I just tucked under the boxspring...
for...are you sitting down?
$29.99!!
All of it! I found it at Marshall's! Then I found the fun dotted pillow at Home Goods, where I also got a plant that reminded me of the islands because...well...at that point I just couldn't stop myself.
The cute jungle stool is actually Gavin's! It was a Baptism gift from his Godfather. It looks so good in Brian's room, though, that I may just have to find Gavin another one to match his room.
This morning we had our house cleaned professionally so the boys and I spent much of our morning outside. We went for a walk...played on the swingset and then we took a slow drive around town to hunt for flags. Brian was in Heaven when I took him to the Freedoms Foundation. They have a flag flying that is probably as big as a house. All I heard from the backseat was WOW over and over and over.
Later on I spent two hours shopping by myself which was MY Heaven. Ed stayed home and played with the boys. They miss their Daddy during the weekdays. I love how their faces light up when he walks into the room. Gavin, especially...he is Daddy's boy!!
This morning was Brian's speech evaluation. I went into it confident, feeling like one of those Moms who swears her child is a genius. I even thought there would be a possibility that he would not qualify for services.
I was wrong. Very, very wrong.
Two women evaluated him - one was a teacher and the other a speech therapist. They arrived along side Shelly, who was Gavin's Early Intervention case manager and a very familiar face. Both of the women tested Brian by asking him questions, observing him and getting information from me. Brian was shy, initially, but quickly warmed up when they pulled out their toys. He immediately grabbed the cell phone - probably to call his Granny, one of his favorite people to ring up.
The speech therapist showed him a book of pictures and asked him to identify things. He flew through identifying the objects...but struggled a little when she asked him to identify the action pictures. You can see what I mean in this video:
He also struggled a bit with concepts. For example, there was a page of pictures - one of which was shoes. She'd ask, "What goes on your feet?" Check out his response...
The teacher then moved on to some pretend play. Like pretending to feed the baby...
She asked me if he ever pretended "outside the box" - like pretending that a block was a cookie or that a spoon was a car. My answer was no.
Because he doesn't do that - and because he lacks the verbal ability during play - he scored low on cognition. Of all the things, I thought he was so strong cognitively. I was very surprised.
After the evaluation they scored their tests and went over the results with me. He is at an 18 month level for speech. He qualified for speech therapy and will receive it once a week. But what happened next was the shocker. As I said, he scored low on "cognition" - also scoring at an 18 month level. That qualified him for teacher services once a week. Each of these therapies are one hour.
Wondering how I feel? Mixed. The logical, positive side of me thinks - "Great! Help is always good. This is not a big deal! He's going to thrive and be even better in the long run for all of this." The irrational, emotional side of me thinks - "Great. I screwed up. I failed him somehow along the way." I have often thought that I am responsible for Brian's delays - and let me explain why.
First let me say, I'm not feeling sorry for myself or looking for anyone to write to say "You're great - don't blame yourself - you're a good Mom". I'm not seeking affirmation. When Brian was born, we were used to a child that needed us 24/7...and still does. We need to do everything for Gavin so it became natural to also do everything for Brian! We carried Gavin up the stairs - we carried Brian up the stairs. When truthfully, he could have been climbing up on his own long ago. I could go on and on with examples, but I'm sure you get my point. I did more for Brian than I probably had to - and kept him from developing independently. Even down to feeding himself. Plus, his peer model has been Gavin - a brother who is developmentally and physically delayed. It's no surprise to me that Brian walked late...and will talk late. It makes me so sad that we're "here" in this place - that we'll now add two more hours a week somewhere among all of Gavin's therapy - that I'll feel extra pressure to also add social activities for Brian somewhere in that schedule. I'm still processing all of this. It's a lot. They also suggested that I get Brian's hearing checked. We've never had a reason to think he had a hearing problem - but when child has a speech delay, it's something they recommend. I'll be setting that up as soon as possible.
*sigh*
Right after the evaluation, Brian and I ran away to my parent's house. I promised my Mom I'd help her sell her bedroom set so I ran over to take some photos of everything. I also needed comfort...which I always find there. Plus, I wanted to treat Brian to some Mommy and me time. Okay, it was really my treat.
Brian adores his Granny...
...and he loves his Pop, too!
We even got to see my Uncle Frank who lives right across the street! He and Brian had a fun time playing in the yard. Uncle Frank is like the Pied Piper to all of his grand-nieces and nephews.
Let's end this with something fun. Brian's new BIG BOY ROOM!!!! Last night my friend, Drew, came over to help Ed assemble Brian's new bed. Here is a tour of his new room!
The plan is to keep the crib in there and slowly transition him to the bed...starting with daytime naps.
I haven't chosen a bedding set yet and am open to any links or suggestions that the experienced shoppers out there want to send me.
Brian and I have already started laying on his bed to read books and giggle. He can climb up very easily.
The tall dresser will be bolted to the wall and Brian helped me load all of his clothes neatly in the drawers this morning.
And the night table will remain in the empty (for now) nursery next door until the crib moves out. It was a little too crowded for it now.
Brian was so happy as we were setting up the room last night. He kept hugging and kissing me randomly and was giggling all night.
This child may not be an expert communicator right now...but he sure can communicate love straight to my heart. I am so in love with this child. Both of my children.
I can't believe they are mine. And I know...I just know...that they will BOTH be fine.
