Hold Your Applause...

It's official - Brian has graduated from "Early Intervention." Please hold your applause until then end - thank you.

We are so grateful, sincerely, to Miss Jen and Miss Christi. They were Gavin's speech therapist and teacher (respectively) and I couldn't have imagined getting anyone else to come back to our home for Gavin's little brother. They are the "best in the biz", as they say.

Yesterday was Brian's last speech therapy with Jen. They had a lot of fun - playing, coloring, reading...and exchanging Christmas presents.

Then today was Brian's last visit with his teacher, Miss Christi! Brian was in rare form and ended their time on a high note. They played on the iPad, made a pretend hot air balloon, and also exchanged presents.

This ends Brian's home therapy. Next stop: school. It's so hard for me to believe that Brian will be three on Friday. I'll save the sappy entry for the big day.

It should come as no surprise that Brian's birthday video will be late. I just can't get it together lately. I need - badly - to snap out of my depression. For real.

You know what keeps me going? These boys. Brian is getting really chatty and has started with "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" when he wants my attention (which is all day long). Typically he will be chanting "MOMMY" when I'm busy 'rescuing' Gavin from precarious situations. Like when he's trying to scale the refrigerator shelves...

Or climbing, by himself, into a toy bin.

Normally, these amazing feats would have their very own journal entry. Gavin's sudden progress has been nothing short of amazing. That should tell you just how...crappy, for lack of a better word, I feel. Just...blah. I should mention - much of Gavin's motivation is negative. His teeth banging (and, something new - his head banging) has increased. His motivation to crawl up into the fridge? To bang his teeth on a shelf. His motivation to crawl into the toy bin? To bang his teeth on the entertainment center. For me, being alone (although it has its advantages at times) has had a major downside. When I'm drying my hair...or going to the bathroom...or playing with Brian...or, well, insert ANYTHING that takes me away from Gavin for a second - he will find a place to bang his teeth. On the granite island. On the foot of Brian's sleigh bed. On his Daddy's night table. On the glass of the front door or the back door or the window...where he'll also bang his head. On the art table...the chairs...the train table...the toilet. We have so many teeth marks in our wood furniture. I feel like my days are spent pulling Gavin away from banging his teeth. Trust me when I tell you - we've tried SO MANY techniques to stop this behavior. For years. It's really so depressing to me. If you're not on him every waking hour, he will find something to bang his teeth on. Having someone here means that happens SO much less...Brian's one on one time is not disrupted...and Gavin gets more quality time, too. Although Gavin has been tough to wrangle - he really is only interested in cruising around the house and testing his physical capabilities!

But on the positive side - his motivation to bang his teeth has helped him make a ton of physical progress! Yippee for that!!

I guess you figured out that I'm not doing very well. It's hard to hide. I've said this before - but I'm just so embarrassed by this! I didn't expect to feel this bad. I think about my Dad all day - and am so quick to cry. But when you have a house that has a revolving door of therapists...and factor in the holidays and public outings...I feel I should be eligible for an Academy Award for my acting skills. I don't always manage to hold it together in front of people - but that just makes my 'performance' that much more dramatic and "Oscar worthy", right??

Keep holding that applause.

To end on a positive - the highlight of my day has been the incoming Christmas/holiday/everything cards that have been arriving. I love that anyone would think of us. And I extra love seeing photos of everyone and their children and families and dogs and cats and houses. Our ordered photo cards have not arrived yet. I can't wait to share the card here. I found a special way to honor my Dad on the envelope. It was important, maybe silly...but still important...for me to do so. I miss my Dad.

You can clap now.

Why Didn't I Think Of That?...

Pretty much every day I have a "Why didn't I think of that?!?" moment...and today was no exception. Miss Maggie, Gavin's speech/feeding therapist, was here and did something so easy and so smart (which is not unusual for her, mind you, but today was EXTRA cool). She announced when she arrived that today was going to be messy. We spread out applesauce on Gavin's tray and dropped little cheerios, Kix cereal and some bits of cookie in there. The hope was that Gavin would not only get the sensory benefit of smooshing his hands around in that mess...but that he would instinctively put his fingers in his mouth, teaching him that he can feed himself that way.

But first - the brilliant idea she started off with. She brought a tiny lollipop with her. The kind that are like teeny tiny balls and are sometimes called "Dum Dums". Gavin's never had one (neither has Brian for that matter!) The flavor was something like "sour apple" - something that would definitely wake up Gavin's mouth! She made sure to rub it along the inside of his cheek and down his tongue...

...and then he took over.

He lifted it up holding that little tiny stick and got it right into his mouth - and then back out - and then onto the tray - and then picked it back up - and you get the idea. It's more motivating than a spoon filled with food that falls off before it gets to his mouth usually...so, why didn't I think of it before???

As for the messy play, I'll let the photos tell the story, but it mostly went like this...

...with a few moments of intentional contact. But never for too long.

Needless to say, the next stop was the washing machine and the bathtub!

Brian also had therapy today. Miss Jen was here for his Speech therapy. I don't have any photos - mostly because I was trying to hide...pretending I was in the wrong house...that Brian wasn't actually my child. He was completely bonkers. Tantrums. Screaming. Not cooperating. We were all pretty dumbfounded by his out of character behavior. Jen was sweet and assured me that this is typical for "two" - and she sees this a lot. But it didn't comfort me that much - I was shocked at Brian! They were able to salvage some of the session when he calmed down and started acting like a normal child again, but WHEW! What a stressful hour! I chose NOT to document that craziness.

The craziest news of all? Gavin pooped on the potty.

(Something else there is NO footage of)

Now before you get all excited, let me explain. And if "poopy talk" is not your thing, stop reading here and come back tomorrow when I will be discussing my fertility injections and what they've been doing to my hormones. Just kidding. Or maybe I'm not. It's best not to cross me either way, understand? UNDERSTAND??

Crap, what was I talking about? Oh yeah....

So anyway, because Gavin has been a rock star eater lately (last night he had cheese raviolis for dinner, thank you!) his poops are more...how shall I say..."big boy". Picture a big boy poop going into a diaper and...how shall I say...running out of room? Not to mention, these big boy poops are very difficult for my little boy with low tone to get out. It can be heartbreaking sometimes. But he's doing it - and when he's through he has this look of pride that, well, only a guy can make. Thanks to one small drink each day of "Lifeway Bio Kefir", Gavin is rarely needing his MiraLax anymore to make him go. But there's the straining issue - and the 'running out of room' issue. So I had this brilliant (or not?) idea to try to catch Gavin when I sense he's about to go...and sit him on the potty. So far it's only been once. He had no idea what was going on. He wasn't upset, but he did fight me to sit there and just wanted to try to squirm off the seat. It was challenging...but when he did finally poop, he looked surprised and proud. And so was I.

I have no idea where I'm going with this plan - but it just seems like it can't hurt to try! I'm so proud of his strides lately in the eating and the bowel movement department. It's a big, big deal around here.

And that's no B.S.

Looking Back At Year One...

Today starts Gavin's BIRTHDAY WEEK!!

This Thursday, my little boy will turn four. I'm having a bit of a hard time believing it, to be honest! For the next four days I will be sharing something special with you from each year of his life. He's the King for this week and, as you can see, Brian knows that Gavin should get extra special attention...

It was just the three of us today. Yep - just me, Gavin and Brian! Can you believe it? I had no one here to help me and I did it all by myself! "Anonymous poster" would be so proud. Or not.

I actually have not been feeling well for the last four days. Every day I have felt nauseous and, for lack of a better description, hungover. It's all from the birth control pill I'm required to take for the IVF process. My body has been seriously revolting and every day I have felt like crap. Today was the worst - I would have loved to have stayed in bed. The boys still have runny noses, too, so we were a bit of a mess today!

Brian's speech therapist, Miss Jen, bravely kept her appointment and when she arrived this morning...Brian was a bit of a wacko. He was bouncing off the walls and then hiding under laundry.

He finally calmed down and they ended up having a good session. He's definitely saying some new words and she noticed!

Gavin did some great eating today! I recently discovered a new baby food at Wegman's. It's called "Sprout". It was developed by chef, Tyler Florence, and it's all organic. I bought several from their advanced stage selection and hoped that Gavin could handle the textures. So far, so good! Last night he had their beef lasagna...and this morning he had multi-grain cereal with fruit.

When I brought Gavin into his bedroom tonight and kissed him goodnight, I could tell that he was exhausted. But Gavin is one that has always fought sleep. I laid him down and he shocked me by instantly putting his head down. So I started to rub his back. Within two minutes he was snoring. You're going to have to take my word on this - this NEVER happens. It nearly brought me to tears to see him 'let go' and close his eyes and fall asleep right in front of me. And as I stood there over his crib watching his chest rise and fall - I started to reminisce.

Gavin's first year had a lot of challenges, but one of the big ones was getting him to sleep. It was so bad that Ed and I had to tag team. One person could rarely start and finish the job. I could literally be walking or rocking or bouncing with Gavin for two or more hours...and then Ed would take over and there were times it was just as long for him. We couldn't just lay Gavin down and leave - he was such a high risk for aspirating at the time and would often get himself so worked up that he'd vomit. Plus, a lot of the time he had a feeding tube in so if we put him in bed awake - he'd surely pull out that tube. That first year was complicated.

But that first year was filled with incredible miracles for a little boy who spent his first month in the NICU, and then a little over THREE months hospitalized and very ill. The big moment that first year - the one that stands out in my memory - was getting him off that feeding tube. When many around me, doctors included, were pushing for a surgically placed G-Tube...this Mommy said Hell No. It was a long, laborious, exhausting, and emotional journey...but Gavin slowly started to eat purees orally. If he did that forever, I'd be happy - but now he's eating beef lasagna and banana chunks and fishy crackers and macaronis. I never lost hope that first year - and I envisioned a lot for Gavin. But he has exceeded even my expectations.

If you are new to this blog, or if you've known us forever - I'd love it if you watched (or re-watched) Gavin's birthday video from that first year. If you're new - it will help give you an idea of what makes him who he is today...what he's been through...what we went through. If you've seen this before but want to walk down memory lane with me tonight, I'd love it. Out of all the videos I've made, this one will always be my favorite. It was my first - and my camera was crappy - but it tells such a story.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

And that story keeps getting better and better.

I love you, Bugaboo!

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask Before Assisting Others...

Gavin's final therapy break of the summer has ended and today was back to business...starting with feeding therapy. Miss Maggie came by with a feeding specialist, Caitlin, that did Gavin's initial evaluation a year ago.

Gavin has made some solid improvements over the last few months - and even the last couple weeks during the break. He's eating chunkier foods...he's lifting his sippy cup and navigating the straw into his mouth by himself...and yesterday and today I handed him a spoon filled with food and he fed himself!! Today we discussed with Caitlin what we've been doing, therapy-wise, and she had some great suggestions. She showed Maggie and I how to do facial massages while he's laying reclined on his vibrating chair (it's good to be Gavin!).

This is a strategy to encourage lip closure and also to give him the stimulation he longs for around his mouth.

This is what it looked like...

She also suggested that we crumble crunchy textures on the top of the bottom of his spoon when feeding him the purees. It will give him new flavors and textures without overwhelming him with a whole spoonful. I loved this idea.

Brian is also doing well with his therapy! Miss Jen came for his speech therapy today and they spent some time outside. Brian has definitely been communicating his wants and needs a lot more. Whether it is through gestures, sign language or even mini-sentences. Yesterday he took Miss Katja's hand, pointed to her palm, went and got the remote control, placed it in that palm and then pointed to the TV. Clearly he wanted to go for a walk. Oh wait...I think. So anyway, today he showed off those skills to Miss Jen. Like when they were on the swingset and he pointed at her and then pointed down the slide - she got him to say "down" and "Go!" and "up".

I love that he's starting to form sentences. He'll say things like "Mama, this one" while pointing to something he wants or "Mama, help?" And here when Miss Jen asked him if he wanted to give this little yellow flower to his Mommy, a tear formed in my eye when I heard: "What has she done for ME lately?" Ahhh...I'm so proud.

Today was a big day for me, too! I went for my first appointment in over six months (maybe more!) with Dr. Trish. I got out of the routine of seeing her (I used to see her three times a week!) when Gavin was in the middle of his medical crisis in the beginning of the year. Once I got out of the routine, it was hard to jump back in. There was always something keeping me from making that appointment - life kept getting in the way. But my body kept score - and it's been slowly falling apart. I find I'm tired a lot...my Rheumatoid Arthritis flares a lot more...I get the numbness and tinglies in my arms and legs more often...and I just feel *blah*.

I was so happy to see her again. She worked on me for quite a while. When we chatted afterward she said I was "full". Months of stuff piled up in my body - experiences, frustrations, sadness, anger, stress...the stuff of everyday life as a Mom. When my body gets too "full" - it starts to turn on me. It's classic - it might be happening to you right now! Unexplained symptoms that doctors prescribe things for - or you medicate yourself to feel better. I feel like I'm hearing from more and more friends who are struggling with symptoms - suffering through scary medical testing - and hearing possible scenarios that have them freaking out. I so wish that they - and EVERYONE! - could see Dr. Trish. She is so gifted and although it is very hard to describe what she does - the results speak for themselves. I should probably still be on toxic injectable medication for my arthritis - but when I see her, my symptoms go away. Literally go away. Not to mention she is just the nicest person. The kind of person that you end up spilling the goriest details of your life to during your first meeting. At least that's what I heard other people have done. Not me, no how.

I look forward to resuming my regular visits with her - and bringing Gavin back for his weekly visits - and bringing Brian in occasionally for a "tune up". I need to start taking care of myself again. I stopped and it's showing. Like any good flight attendant would tell you, "Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others." And, of course, "Please don't take a major dump on a long flight with one working bathroom."

My "Ladies Men"...

It's hard to keep the ladies away from Gavin. He just has this charm, you see, that extends way beyond his rugged good looks. Even though Friday was what I thought was his last day of therapy until the end of August, Miss Janna just couldn't stay away. She came by yesterday to spend some time working with Gavin!

She started off by showing him the COOLEST toy ever. It's called Magna Tiles. She was using them to help him with color matching, but they were quickly confiscated by Brian who proceeded to build with them. This toy is so cool it's going to be Brian's birthday present in December. (Shhh....don't tell him!)

Gavin was happy to move on to another activity, thankfully, and did such a great job. Janna held his elbow and positioned his hand over these little bear toys. Gavin picked them up one after the other and then, with help, dropped them in the bowl! Towards the end he got a little help from Brian - which was rather hilarious. Check it out here.....

Brian, whose therapy continues all through the summer, had Speech with Miss Jen this morning. He was rather cranky for about half of it, unfortunately. I don't know if it was my presence or he was just in a bad mood. There was a lot of "Mommy hold me!" action. I think I'll try some sessions with me stepping out and see how he does.

When he was calm he was very good! Jen was impressed with his increased communication skills - including new signs and definite verbal attempts at things.

This past Sunday we were all grocery shopping at Wegman's. I was eating a soft pretzel while I was walking around and somehow broke a tooth!! This morning I went to the dentist first thing and it ended up being a waste of time. For one, they will need more time because the entire crown needs to be replaced. Ouch. But they also need X-Rays beforehand and I said no. I don't want to chance getting X-Rays if I might be pregnant...and I still don't know yet if I am or I'm not!! So it was all a big waste of time. I'll go back three weeks from now - when I'll know for sure if I'm pregnant - and we'll deal with it then. I really hate wasting my time.

I got home and went straight to work in the kitchen, where I've been most of the day. I want to be sure we are stocked FULL of Gavin's food before we leave for our trip to Atlantis! I baked a ton of Yams and I have a veggie stew on the stove still simmering. While I was hard at work Miss Katja was, too! She had Gavin in his walker out on the driveway and also on the iPad working with him on the new apps I got. I also got his new case - the Otterbox - today and it's pretty awesome. It has a built in stand which is great for when we have him at the table. And the case has rubber grippers on the bottom so the iPad won't slip when it's laying flat in front of him. I'm a big fan. I haven't found THEE perfect app for Gavin yet - but I'll soon share what apps I got for him. I can recommend a really cute book that I put on there for both boys. It's called "Pop Out! The Tale of Peter Rabbit". I'm always looking for more apps - especially for Gavin - so I'm open to any and all suggestions!!

Yesterday I signed up for a day long course this coming October on the use of iPads for special education. I heard about this from Brian's teacher - Miss Christi - who thought I might be interested. Boy, was I!! I may be the only parent there, but I don't care. I can't wait - and I hope I learn things I didn't know about how the iPad can help Gavin. Miss Christi and Miss Jen are going, too, so it's a party!! (I need a day out...can you tell?)

Mini-Breakthrough!...

Another big day today! This time for both Gavin AND Brian!

Brian had his speech therapy with Miss Jen and she was very impressed with his progress.

Since last week we were to work on saying and/or signing "help", which he mastered. He also started saying "choo choo" and "beep beep" (it may not sound quite like it should, but it's intentional!) And he's been stringing things together - mostly in signs - like "more please" or "milk please".

One thing Brian does that Miss Jen pointed out was overuse the word "Wow!" For example, when you're reading a book with him - he'll point to a picture and say Wow over and over again until YOU say what the picture is. It's so cute so we have inadvertently encouraged him to keep doing it. (It really sounds cute when he says it!!) So she told us this week to try to ignore the "Wow" factor - and hold out so he'll have the chance to say the word himself. Or at least try.

He also did some great imitating! As they read a book, Jen did some actions and sounds - and Brian surprised me by trying to mimic them. Take a look!

Not to be outdone, Gavin was a star in HIS speech therapy today! He and Miss Maggie worked with the iPad. It's been very challenging to get Gavin to consistently use any type of communication device. With the Proloquo2Go App I downloaded onto my iPad, we have one whole page with "Book". Gavin needs to touch the page, which has a picture of a book, in order to get a book read to him. Usually he tries to "turn" the iPad - thinking it's a page in a book - and he gets frustrated. Or he tries to just move it out of the way to get to his books. It's hard to know if he's made any type of connection that the iPad is a vehicle to get him what he wants.

But today - for a few seconds - we may have witnessed a mini-breakthrough. It took my breath away. The iPad was in Miss Maggie's lap while she was reading Gavin a book. Apparently, it was a book that wasn't interesting to him. We watched as he looked at the book he wanted across the table - and then looked at the iPad - then looked at the book he wanted - and then looked at the iPad.

It. Was. Awesome.

Here's a video of the second time he glanced over at the iPad - it was definitely an intentional way to communicate with us!!

I'm so proud of both of my boys!!

So...about yesterday's post. I was bombarded with personal emails, facebook messages, and comments on this blog from so many of you. Some of you I never "met" - you came out of the shadows after reading my journal for years. I love meeting lurkers!!! And some of you I do "know", but never knew your story. It's amazing how many have gone through the IVF process. I'm grateful for all the advice, information, personal experiences, encouragement...I got it all. Who knows what will happen - if we'll go that route next month or not. But because of all of your emails, last night I went to bed feeling a little more hopeful.

And then I dreamed - all night - about my daughter. I woke up this morning thinking about Darcy. I suddenly felt angry - and cheated. I thought of a friend in Australia that reads this journal and thought my blog name was in reference to getting pregnant - that I was "chasing my rainbow baby". (You can read the real story behind my choice for a blog title in my very first post). Part of me thinks she's right - that I am chasing a baby. And this morning I was wondering if I'll be running forever. Then I went to the bookstore. I'm hunting for a book that celebrates going from a crib to a big boy bed. I'm particular - I do NOT want the silly ones that show the child scared of things under the bed or not wanting to go to bed - why would they want to put ideas like that in a child's head??? I think I need to WRITE that book. But anyway, while I was down on my knees looking at the bottom shelf - I came across this book and I started to cry...

In that moment, I had my own mini-breakthrough.

I DO have an angel. Who can say that? And to me, angels mean "hope". And "hope" is something that I can't lose. But man, it would be so much easier if life didn't have to be so hard sometimes.

1,2,3 - GO!...

Today was SUCH a busy day! There's a lot to read today, but I promise you that reading to the end is 100% worth it. Would I lie?

I spent much of the morning working on Gavin's bed situation. I was on the phone with our insurance for quite a while trying to get the status and explaining the necessity of this bed to everyone who would listen. Then I started to work on the letter of medical necessity. I only got through the fist paragraph. Technically, a letter of medical necessity is written and signed by the doctor. But truthfully, I have written every single one over the years. (I highly recommend that to everyone) I know all the facts and it saves everyone so much time for me to just crank it out. Then I hand it over to the doctor - they copy it onto their letterhead and sign it - and Voila! But that's our little secret, okay?

And about this bed I want for Gavin...I've gotten a lot of mail with questions and some outrage as to why the bed is so expensive. I plan to do a post someday soon on the prices of all things "special needs" - you will be very surprised. I've done my research and this bed is actually one of the cheapest (price-wise) out there. Some go upward to the $20,000 range!! And those, quite frankly, look like they belong in a Russian Orphanage. No offense to any Russians or Orphanages.

So, after my busy administrative morning...there was a knock on the door that brought me out of my insurance induced fog. It was Miss Jen!! Today was Brian's first day of Speech Therapy! It was so nice to see Jen - she has known us since Gavin was an infant and she was HIS therapist. Brian warmed up to her instantly...I'm sure he remembered her. They got right down to the business of playing together. She pretty much let him do his thing and found opportunities to help him communicate while he was playing.

They worked on puzzles for a bit so she could encourage him to identify pictures and try to imitate animal sounds...

They played with his trains so she could encourage "Choo Choo" and "Up" and "Down" and "Help"...

They also played a game on the slide. Her arm was a gate and she made Brian count to three and then asked him to say "GO" before she let him slide down. Here's a video of the two of them in action...

Then we moved into the Living Room where our Miniature Golf Course is set up. (Thanks to our generous neighbors, the McGrail-Peasleys for that awesome gift!!) I know what you're thinking..."Why didn't I think of adding a Mini-Golf set to MY Living Room?!?" It is a very beautiful addition and perfectly matches our huge Jump-O-Lene. I think I have a future in interior design. Moving on...

We use the course to roll cars and balls in the tracks for now which is super fun. Especially with Matchbox cars - they go fast! Miss Jen and Brian had fun racing the cars and she encouraged him to say "Zoom" and "Go". By then it was nearing the end of the hour and I could tell Brian was running on fumes. The entire session he was a jumping bean - super hyper - even doing things that aren't typical and aren't necessarily appropriate (like throwing things at us). Kids always make liars out of you - it was only 40 minutes earlier that I was telling Jen what a good boy he is. Ha ha! But all in all, he was a good boy and as you can see...he was in love with Miss Jen.

The boys got in their highchairs for lunch and I couldn't resist taking a reunion picture.

Jen left me with the advice to "Hold Out". At first I thought she was giving me marital advice - but came back to Earth and remembered that this was about Brian. She said to wait if I know he can use a word for something. For example, when I know he wants more of something - I shouldn't give it to him without him actually saying (or trying to say...or even signing) "more".

It's so nice to have you back "in the family", Miss Jen!

After lunch, Gavin went down for a nap and Brian and I took a little road trip! I wanted to bring dinner over to my parents. It just so happened that today was my Mom's "Mahjong" game, which she was hosting. My Mom, my Aunt Mary and three other women have been playing this game as long as I've been alive. That's a long time - over 40 years! Every week they rotate to one of their houses - play the game for coins and then eat dessert. In all these years, I've never learned to play the game!

I'm always so happy to see the ladies. There's my Mom, of course, Mrs. Fazio who lives nearby, Mrs. Gallagher who lives down the street, Mrs. Chaloult who was also on our street and my Aunt Mary! These women have seen me grow up...come to my graduations...my wedding...they ALL might as well be my Aunts. I love them all very much.

On the ride home, I could tell that Brian was exhausted. How? Because he stops caring when we pass by a flag. I thought - this is the day to try his big boy bed for a nap. I was running a little late so, unfortunately, I got home at the tail end of Gavin's feeding therapy. I got the report from Miss Maggie that Gavin did a great job crunching on fishies and potato stix, but hated the cold carrot sticks. We said goodbye and I took Brian upstairs to his room.

We both got into his bed and he instantly got under the covers and pulled them up to his chin. For two seconds. Then he got up...crawled to the end of the bed...got down using the step stool...grabbed some books...crawled back up...repeat. So I decided I would pretend I was sleeping - thinking I would model what he was supposed to do. That's when he decided to get one of his favorite books - one that happens to be about 15 pounds. While I was fake sleeping, he accidentally dropped it right on my temple. Big bruise coming soon.

I bagged the whole idea and put him in his crib - where he promptly fell asleep. I need to research strategies for helping him adjust to his new bed. I'm open to any tips or tricks from all of you!

While I sat and wrote my journal today, the phone rang. It was a nurse assigned to the claim for Gavin's bed. We talked for quite a while and I explained why a bed like this is necessary for Gavin. How he has no sense of danger...how he mouths everything and this bed doesn't offer anything to bite...how the other beds aren't enclosed and he could easily fall out...how this bed is actually one of the cheapest on the market...how he currently gets his legs stuck between the bars on his crib - and would with the other beds out there that have slats...and on and on and on. I told her everything I would have included in my letter of medical necessity. She said she would do some of her own research and get back to me. I continued to type about Speech Therapy and Mahjong when the phone rang again.

"Mrs. Leong, this is Peggy from United Health Care. I am calling to tell you that your son's bed has been approved."

Gavin will get his big boy bed!! What a way to end the day.

Epiphany...

I have some AMAZING news. After I took some time to process YESTERDAY'S news - about Brian needing not one, but TWO therapies a week - I had an epiphany. These therapies, whether I think he needs them or not (yes, I'm still partially in denial - I admit it) are going to be great for him in every single way. I really turned my attitude around. And today I got news that made it even greater. Brian's speech therapist will be Jen McDivitt, who was Gavin's speech therapist until he was three! And Brian's teacher will be Christi Gleason, who was Gavin's teacher. Both of these women, besides being part of our family, have known Brian since he was born!! I couldn't be happier. Jen actually moved another family around (with their cooperation, of course!) to fit Brian in and luckily Christi was available on Wednesday's which was our only free day from therapies! Did I mention how happy I am about this?

I talked to Christi on the phone for a while this afternoon and, of course, she asked about Gavin. I mentioned to her our most recent struggle. Gavin's constant mouthing, banging his teeth and drooling. I told her we have tried all different types of oral stimulation - but it doesn't matter. Christi always has great tips - and sometimes tells me things that make me go, "Duh...why didn't that occur to me?!!?" She asked if I had consulted a dentist. I seriously hadn't thought of that! So on August 1st Gavin will be checked by the dentist...and I am bringing Brian along for his first appointment, too.

Gavin had Occupational Therapy with Miss Stephanie this morning...who also tried to brainstorm ways to stop Gavin from these behaviors. She spent about 10-15 minutes giving him oral stim - ice, toothbrush, nuk brush, and more. Each time she'd stop he'd rush back to his toy to mouth it or he'd put his hand in his mouth. They moved to the art table and worked on fine motor activities. I caught him in a sweet moment...

But in the interest of full disclosure, the therapy session looked more like this:

He wasn't super thrilled to be asked to work and fought her nearly every step of the way.

Oh, Gavin...

Yesterday afternoon I took the boys shopping to see if I could find bedding for Brian. I know what I don't want. I don't want characters...I don't want "too busy" since his walls are so busy...and I don't want matchy-matchy where there are 8 accessories that all coordinate. I figure if I just got a comforter or bedspread that was rather neutral, I could put any kind of fun sheets underneath and fun pillows on top. Then I could have my Mom make curtains in a fabric that would coordinate without matching. Oh...uh, Mom? I forgot to tell you that Brian wants to hire you. Can you fit us in?

I brought this one home and it's growing on me! It's very subtle in person and the green is very soft.

I thought the leaves on the comforter resemble the leaves on the trees on his walls.

I haven't totally made my decision. But in all the online shopping and the small amount of in store shopping - nothing is really jumping out at me that I love. I might try just a solid beige or green color next. We'll see.

I got about ten emails after yesterday's post telling me I need bed rails. I didn't mention it in the post, but I already ordered bed rails - extra long ones, actually. Thanks for your concern, as always! Brian loves to climb up on his new big boy bed and does a great job getting down. I am not going to rush this process at all. He's able to see it every day and night right across from his crib...and we have SO much fun reading and giggling on the bed each day.

Hopefully it will be an easy transition.

Speaking of beds, I have chosen a bed for Gavin that I think will suit him perfectly! It's called the Courtney bed and it looks like this:

You can choose from a variety of colors. I can just picture Gavin's Twilight Turtle illuminating all of the netting with stars at night. It looks like just about the coolest "fort" ever! Now comes the process of getting it approved. I was on the phone with our brand new insurance company this morning. I introduced myself as their future worst nightmare. Just kidding. Nothing "special needs" comes cheap and it's likely that they will cover some or none - not all. This bed alone is $5,000. I could get a brand new dining room set for that - or less. But who eats in a dining room anyway, right?