Hurricane Sandy...

As I type this, I am warm and dry.  We have electricity - having lost it only for ten hours.  Not a single branch fell from the many trees around us.  We are definitely blessed today.

But I am not celebrating our luck.  As you likely have seen on the news - or followed through social media as it happened - the East Coast experienced a devastating storm.  Our beloved beach in Ocean City, New Jersey  - that town has experienced unprecedented damage.  In Atlantic City, portions of the boardwalk are gone.  In New York City, cars were floating down the streets.  The most heartbreaking images, for me, were the nurses from NYU Medical Center.  After the emergency generators failed and they had to evacuate the hospital, they were pictured sitting on stretchers holding NICU babies skin to skin... ventilating some manually... protecting those children like they were their own.  I still can't talk about that without breaking down.

I get very emotional when things like this happen in the world.  It fills me with anxiety for all of those out there suffering.  I feel very helpless as I sit here in my warm home with my children with a refrigerator and freezer filled with food that didn't spoil and electricity so I can type this.  I almost feel strangely guilty for feeling fortunate.  And I worry for our world.  If you weren't concerned about global warming before this freakish and unbelievable storm - I hope you are now!

I worried what would happen if we lost power - or, rather, WHEN we lost power.  We rely on a microwave and a refrigerator for Gavin's pureed meals.  This morning we were still without power - and before we opened our refrigerator we had to come up with a plan.  We got the boys up from bed and brought them downstairs... and we were seconds away from making a reservation at a Homewood Suites (they have full kitchens) when the power went back on.  Ours was a very small inconvenience. My heart goes out to all the parents out there with special needs children who are dependent on technological devices - ventilators, feeding pumps and more.  I hope that they are able to get the help they need if they are without power.  If you know someone like this - even if they are the neighbor you've never met - please reach out to them if you are able to help!  The panic that goes through parents of kids with special needs or disabilities is hard to describe.

I hope all of you who read my journal are safe.  If you suffered damages to your home or property, I am so sorry.  And I hope that all of us can send our prayers and positivity to those who lost their lives... and those who will struggle to rebuild their lives after this storm.  If you can, please check in here in the comment section or on my Facebook page letting all of us know you're okay.  If you want to tell your story, you have a place here.  And if there is help that you need - post it here and perhaps someone can help you!

My heart is so heavy today.

Lessons In Humility...

Last night we experienced our first Hurricane.

And today, we are changed.

About to get in bed, I suddenly heard the front door open and lots of commotion downstairs. I hopped up to find Ed frantic - looking at the pool of water on our front walkway. There was water pouring in at the foundation, he told me. We both darted to the basement. Frantic is the best way to describe our initial reaction. The water just kept coming...the carpets were getting drenched...the stereo and TV equipment was in danger...we felt overwhelmed. For a short while tension was high as we grabbed things and threw them anywhere to get them out of the path of the never ending water. Ed continuously pulled up water into the shop vac while I used towels and ran them up and down from the dryer.

But then - something happened. A stillness between us that I can't explain. A moment when we both realized that this was out of our control. A realization that everything down there was just "stuff". We decided to bring the things that were most important to us upstairs. I was quick to grab our wedding and honeymoon photos and the LARGE collection of books I have put aside for the boys. We also carried up baby equipment that we're hoping to need. (Uh, soon God?) The rest - it would have to work itself out.

Ed stayed up all through the night keeping an eye on the water - sucking it up as much as he could. He was truly a hero. Around 3am I went to get some sleep so I could function when the kids woke up. Then at 6am I relieved Ed who deservedly went to sleep until the afternoon.

There was no damage to our "stuff"...but significant damage to the walls and carpet. Unfortunately our home insurance policy claims they don't cover water damage that comes in through the foundation. We'll have an interesting journey ahead of us as we repair the damage and make it safe in the basement.

During this experience I couldn't help but be humbled. Humbled by mother nature, yes, but also by something more. I was humbled by the lesson.

Just about a month ago Gavin's hearing teacher (and our good friend), Miss Carol, lost her home in a fire. Imagine. She lost most everything she owned. All through the night I thought about her - during my frantic "I MUST SAVE MY STUFF" moments, I felt what must have been only a millimeter of what she went through. I was so humbled. We will have to replace a carpet and a wall and insignificant things. Carol has to replace everything. I'm actually having a "virtual shower" and a Tupperware Party for her starting tonight to help her rebuild her home from the inside out. One spoon, one towel, one Tupperware container at a time.

Also through the night as we continued to soak up the water the smell was overwhelming. A smell of dusty, dirty water that stung our noses and attached itself to our clothes. It was awful. As I stood in front of the washer and dryer for the third or fourth time, I felt I could weep. I thought about the victims of hurricane Katrina. What they must have smelled - for days. Their "stuff" - their livelihood - their loved ones - all washed away. I have had sympathy for their experiences. But my very small experience with this rather minor hurricane has helped me have empathy.

Did we over react to our flood situation?

Perhaps.

Am I comparing our situation to bigger catastrophes?

Not at all.

Are we embarrassed that we panicked?

Never. Know why?

Every negative experience in life - big or small - comes with a lesson. Sometimes several lessons, if you're lucky. While many may look at my life as a series of difficult and trying circumstances and events - that is not how I see it at all. Every experience has changed me. Humbled me. Reminded me that it's all about keeping things in perspective. And reminding me that nothing is really in my control except my reaction to experiences.

The lessons that came out of this experience were humbling. It reminded us what is really important...and it's not our giant collection of dusty stuff. It reminded us that we're a great team. And it gave us some much needed perspective.

Yes, today we are changed. And I am glad.

Post note! If anyone is in need of Tupperware, please let me know! All of my hosting credit is going to be generously doubled by Tupperware and will go right to Carol so she can rebuild her collection. You can reach me at kmg41470@yahoo.com. Thanks!

Notes From A Girl Scout Dropout...

So I'm trying to move past the disappointment from our busted vacation. The preparation alone was exhausting...the waxing, the dieting, the bikini fittings, the tanning - it was all for nothing. And that was just Ed! Just kidding... but I did buy a new bathing suit and, man, was that a torturous process.

Now we are home and preparing for Hurricane Irene. Grateful that we never left for ANY destination by air...and grateful that we are all home together. Last night our preparations were in full force. I have to say, I'm feeling pretty proud - being a Girl Scout drop out and all.

Here's what we did.

We pulled the food from our upstairs freezers (we have two!) and packed everything into our basement freezer. I discovered online that packing a freezer full helps keep everything colder. Some people stuff newspaper, sleeping bags, bags of frozen water into the empty spaces. At this point - we have no empty spaces.

If we lose power - that freezer will remain closed the entire time. In the upstairs freezer I have all sizes of tupperware containers filled with water. It will take longer for frozen blocks of ice to melt - better than the little ice packs we generally use in our coolers.

Thanks to a neighbor's great suggestion, we bought a camping stove that we'll fuel by propane to heat up Gavin's food. Gavin is my greatest concern. I have extra Pediasure on hand if things get bad. I hope we won't have to use that camping stove - we are definitely not the outdoorsy type and wouldn't have much of a clue!! Ed and our friend, Drew, also pulled out gas grill into the garage so we can use that to cook during the storm.

It's only raining here now. The boys have had baths. The wash is done. We have more than enough batteries and flameless candles and flashlights and Oreos and Skittles and Diet Coke because, as always, we have our priorities straight. Did you expect less? For once I'm grateful for Ed's hoarding tendencies (which we joke about) - we could seriously live out of our pantry for three months. Love you, honey!

I just have one thing to say - if the earthquake a few days ago and this impending hurricane really do mean the end of the world I will not be happy. Can you imagine the dreadful lines waiting to get into Heaven - the whole world arriving at once except for some choice people? I hate waiting on line.

Oh, and if by chance the loss of internet, TV, and power helps us conceive this third child we've been waiting for - Irene is not on our list of names.

Stay safe, everyone! If you have updates from your town or other helpful tips for preparing for hurricanes, please send them this way!

Sight For Sore Eyes...

We decided to leave Maryland last night after dinner. By the time we got on the road it was 9pm and we instantly got stuck in traffic. For about forty minutes we sat in 'park' on a bridge out of the island which did wonders for our mood, oh boy. Fortunately (for us) it was an accident - once we passed by it was smooth sailing for three more hours.

It was after midnight when we got home - everyone was sleeping including Miss Katja. Ed and I grabbed some sleeping bags to continue the whole roughing it nature of this trip and parked ourselves on the floor in Darcy's room. (Yes, I still call it Darcy's room!) Katja got the boys up for us in the morning so we could leisurely make our way downstairs.

Gavin and Brian were a sight for sore eyes. I snuck down into the kitchen with my camera and could hear them playing in the playroom out of sight. I crouched down and went "Psst!" "Psst!" and soon I heard back Brian's little "Psst!" "Psst!" so I did it again and I think it registered. I heard a little voice say, "Mom?" and then I saw this...

...and I left the camera running to squeeze them some more...

We're so happy to be home. Even though we were barely gone, this experience made us feel like we'd been gone forever. I missed the boys a lot (as usual).

Although I'm a little concerned that leaving them with Miss Katja was a bad idea. This is the lovely lunch she made for Brian - fettucini with Basil.

The pressure!! Even Brian pointed it out - as if to say, "See this? This green fancy leafy thing? You better step it up, lady."

Great.

Ed and I went out to the MOBBED grocery store this afternoon to prepare for this storm. I hope wherever you are - especially if you're in the path of this hurricane - that you stay safe.

A Little Piece of Happiness...

Not much to say today. Looks like we'll be coming home either tonight or tomorrow morning due to a mandatory evacuation of the entire town of Ocean City, Maryland. The evacuation begins at midnight and everyone needs to be gone by 5pm. My greatest wish is to try to beat the mass exodus - sitting in a parking lot all the way home does not sound fun.

What a freaking crazy week this has been.

I had a boat tour of Assateague planned for this morning, but received an email late last night telling me they had to cancel it because we were the only idiots that signed up. Of course we were.

So, let's end this with some lovely, relaxing photos from the highlight of this trip. Our visit to Assateague by car and on foot. No need for the Dramamine after all. It was definitely one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. I'll hold onto that piece of happiness when I look back at this nutso vacation.

Enjoy.