I've Been Keeping a Secret!...

I'm back! What's that? You didn't even notice I was gone...for the last three days? Story of my life... *wink*

I was gone. And by gone I mean really gone! Pretty much every second of my life is broadcasted online - by me. But I have had this fantasy of just "disappearing" and telling very few people where I am. This past weekend - I crossed that off my bucket list. Ed and I stole away to an undisclosed location where this Mommy got pretty pampered. We were very grateful to Miss Katja for living at our house for a couple days with the boys - who had so much fun. I was hoping to come home feeling rested and relaxed and ready to hop on this IVF train. Although being away was relaxing - and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted was pretty blissful...I always forget that it's hard to sleep well in a hotel. I got very little sleep. And then, like salt in my wound, I slept in my own bed last night - and was up the majority of the night with insomnia. Arrrghhhhh! But I was away for a couple days - so lack of sleep is not something I should complain about.

I was so happy to come home and see the boys. As nice as it is to have a break - it's always too long away from them. It's still just the three of us until I find a permanent helper...but it's been so nice. Today we played and read a lot of books and had fun on the iPad and Gavin totally impressed me with his eating.

In between all of that, Gavin had two therapies! Miss Carol, Gavin's hearing teacher, came by for her monthly visit. We always love seeing Miss Carol - who has known Gavin since he was an itty bitty baby with big hearing aids. She stuck around for Miss Janna's session after that. I love when the therapists co-treat and get to see what the other's are up to.

Gavin impressed all of us by pushing the red car to the red square! Janna has been working hard with him on color matching. It *might* have been a fluke, but who knows! We all cheered and he was clearly proud of himself!

Gavin's therapy was rewarding for Brian, too, who got to build with legos...

...and even said "Pop! Pop! Pop!" when trying to pop the bubbles in the air!

I've started twice a day injections to prepare my body for IVF. My first appointment to check the progress of my cycle will be this Friday. It will be then that they'll have a better idea of when I will need to come back for monitoring and also the egg retrieval and embryo transfer. I feel so very grateful that my sister, Bean, will be on hand to help me with the boys for these appointments. It's a huge...and I mean a HUGE...comfort! Please keep us in your prayers this month...I won't pretend I'm not hanging lots of hopes and dreams on this cycle.

Gavin and Brian are so enjoying the iPad. Brian is a bit obsessed with his books and games but he does let Gavin use it, too!

I thought I'd share some of the new apps I got that they're really enjoying. I highly recommend all of these. We have four made by "Duck Duck Moose" - "Wheels on the Bus", "Fish School", "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Old MacDonald". They are so adorable and interactive - and you can even record your own voice singing the songs! Gavin lights up when he hears me singing "Wheels on the Bus!" "Interactive Alphabet" by Pikea is lots of fun. We have books like "Dr. Seuss ABC", "Hop on Pop" and a beautiful "Pop Out Peter" that has so many interesting graphics. And Gavin really likes "Peek a Boo Barn" and "Peek a Boo Wild". Thank God for technology - it's amazing to see the boys navigate this iPad!!

It's nice to be back. And don't worry - I do have a goal to start writing earlier in the day. But only for you, Ms. Lawson. (private message across the globe)

Beautiful Distractions...

Last night at 6pm I was in a dental chair inhaling nitrous oxide and gripping the arm rests for dear life. I was there for an emergency root canal. Root canal. On a tooth that I was told already HAD a root canal by a charlatan doctor years ago. But I digress....

It took what seemed forever. By the time I left it was dark and the boys were in their pajamas off to dreamland. As the novacaine (lots and lots of it) wore off, I felt miserable. I was given a high dose of Ibuprofen, antibiotics and a steroids for inflammation and pain. So if my writing starts to deepen or this entry take an unexplainable angry turn, you'll know why.

Today I've been in quite a bit of pain, but felt very blessed by two little boys who seemed to sense that I was not 100%. Brian quietly played or showered me with hugs and kisses throughout the day. And Gavin had two therapies and was a rock star.

First, with Miss Stephanie for OT where he showed off picking up pegs and dropping them in a bucket.

Then in the afternoon he was with Miss Wendy who saw a marked improvement in his strength since last week. Maybe four is a magic number for him? She had him stand up on his own numerous times and every time he came up he was smiling.

If it weren't for these two happy boys today, it would have been dreadful. I easily could have stayed in bed all day moping and feeling sorry for myself. Lucky me that I have such beautiful distractions in my life!!

With that said, I'm taking the rest of the weekend off to enjoy my family. No blog until...gulp...Monday!! Try not to miss me too much... *wink*

Question of the Day...

Today is a good news, bad news kinda day. I'll give you the good news first. Gavin and Brian had a great day! Brian did a great job repeating some sounds for me - I was so proud of him. And Gavin had two therapy sessions.

His first therapy was with his teacher, Miss Janna. One of the things they worked on combined color matching with pinching. Gavin was pretty resistant to letting her hold onto his hands for much of it and gave Janna a bit of a hard time.

Immediately after was his speech therapy with Miss Maggie where he redeemed himself. She used bubbles again which she would hold up to his lips. The idea has been to get him to anticipate the bubble popping on his lips...which would hopefully encourage him to make a kissy face. The concept is to get him to practice lip closure...which is important for eating, drinking and speech. Interesting, huh? Gavin did a great job today! You can check it out in this video...

The bad news is about me. I wrote in a previous post about a terrible dental experience I had when I first became a flight attendant when I was given four unnecessary root canals. On the day I wrote that, I had to go to the dentist to get a temporary crown put on one of those teeth as the old crown (from the bad dentist) had cracked. That was over a month ago and since then that temporary crown has bothered me a lot. The discomfort wakes me up at night and I haven't been able to eat on that side this whole time. So today was the day I was to have the permanent crown placed and I was so relieved. I thought it would be the end of the pain. I was up and out of the house before the sun came up. The dentist saw me at 7am so I could be back in time for Ed to go to work. The appointment was only going to take a half hour. Well, that half hour passed while I was in the chair...and the doctor was trying and trying to get this new crown to fit. Shot after shot of novacaine was injected into my gums. Then...he dropped the bomb. He told me that they would need to get a new permanent crown made - this one was not working. He'd have to put the temporary back on...the one that has bothered me for a freaking month. Which means that I'll need to figure out another appointment to come in and have this done...again. I couldn't hold back my silly tears. The dentist shook his head and actually said to me, "You've had some pretty bad dental karma." Uh....YEAH?

On the drive home my jaw started to ache. By the time I got home - it was throbbing. All day I have had the worst kind of toothache that medication hasn't even touched. I called the dentist to see if there was anything he could do for me - and poor Ed said he would come home from work if I needed to go back. On the phone is when the doctor dropped another bomb. "I think you may need to get a root canal on that tooth."

Uh....WHAT?

I told him I had already had a root canal on that tooth - and all the others around it! He said he didn't know what the heck they did - but it wasn't a root canal. I am in shock. And in pain. And pretty mad. And...quite honestly...feeling very very sorry for myself.

So at 5pm today I will be at the endodontist getting an emergency root canal...hoping that it will at least stop this pain.

The question of the day for me is this - will I ever catch a break?

Angry Birds...

I have been getting a ton of complaints about how late I've been posting my blog lately. Okay, I only got one. And it was my Mom. But she's right - things have changed! It's getting harder during the day when I'm alone and there's lots to do! Especially when Brian take my hand every five minutes to go somewhere or do something. Who could resist that??

The boys and I had a pretty fun day today! This morning Brian had his session with Miss Christi, his teacher. He did a good job! Christi gave me an assignment this week to work on getting him to imitate the following sounds in isolation: b, p, d, m, g, n, ka, ye and fah. We've got a lot of work to do this week! I will keep track of which ones he says. He does tend to perform well when it's just the two of us. He's not always fond of "performing on command."

After therapy and lunch - the boys and I went shopping! One of the luxuries of being alone (and having an afternoon free of therapy) is that I can do whatever I want. Today - for some strange reason - I chose shopping. One of my least favorite activities in life. We spent about two hours in Kohl's while I tried on tons of clothes. I'm pretty lame. I seriously have been wearing the same clothes for the last 3-4 years. The boys were good for my ego as they smiled and laughed in the dressing room. (I chose to interpret the smiling and laughing as adoring looks and praise, ok?) They were such good boys - and so patient.

Later this afternoon after baths, Brian set himself up on the iPad.

He is pretty hilarious with it! He can turn it on and pick his own apps. I need to clear off the grown up apps soon as Brian always gravitates to "Angry Birds."

I wouldn't care, but he's close to beating my high score at this point. That would be pretty embarrassing.

*wink*

Catching Up!...

I've got some catching up to do! Between the party...the trip to the hospital to see Gavin's eye surgeon...and working on Gavin's video, I'm a little behind on news!

This past Saturday we had a fun visit from some good friends. Ed's long time friend, Lingan, and his wife Mirella were visiting from their home in California and stopped by for the afternoon. Believe it or not, it was the first time we got to meet their gorgeous (I mean, seriously...check out the photos - he's adorable!!!) son, Alexander!

Unlike his behavior at Gavin's birthday party, Brian was in a great mood that day. He and Alexander had a wonderful time playing together. They played on the slide...in the play kitchen...at the train table...and they even played a little ball together. It was so cute to watch them.

In other news, Gavin had a small "incident" this afternoon that brought me back to "the old days." During his feeding therapy, Miss Maggie was trying to get him to use a new straw cup. She squeezed some of the milk into his mouth and it must have just hit him the wrong way. Next thing we knew, he gagged and then just couldn't stop throwing up. Maggie was crushed as she went a whole year without him gagging with her. Before she started with him it was a constant occurrence so I warned her from day one. A whole year went by - she must have thought I was lying!! As I watched Gavin struggling to recover, I remembered that this would happen every day - all day for a long time. Just another reminder of how far he has come.

Gavin's eating is still going so well. I feel pretty confident that my days of making "pureed food" may soon come to an end. Well...until this next baby decides to make an entrance. (Umm....we're ready God. Seriously...anytime you want to send that baby to us....in your spare time making people, I mean.)

And in other - other news...Gavin and Brian have become partners in crime lately. Gavin likes to follow what Brian is doing a lot. That includes raiding the pantry. Brian is notorious for taking my hand and pulling me over to the pantry...standing there slowly scanning the shelves...and going "hmmmm....." with his finger to his mouth as if he's saying "Hmmm....what will it be today?" It's hard not to laugh. And now he brings his accomplice - which makes it impossible for this Mommy to say "no" to anything. Although come to think of it, I pretty much say "yes" to everything when it comes to these boys. Can you blame me?

Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments I've received on Gavin's birthday video! I put so much work into these videos - I feel so grateful that anyone watches them at all!!

Gavin's 4th Birthday Video!!

I take about ten thousand photos in a year - more or less. *wink* It bring me such great joy to compile them all into a video for each boy on their birthday. It's my way of saving the history from that year - and it sure beats a room stacked with photo albums from floor to ceiling that we'll never look through!

Gavin's videos are especially fun to make - and inspiring to watch. You can get caught up in the day to day - but watching his progress over a year is just incredible.

This year is no exception. I will warn you to have your tissues handy - the beginning of this video is both heart wrenching and joyful.

Thank you for being such a big part of our family's journey. It give me great pleasure to share with you...

Four Seasons to Four!!

Enjoy!

p.s. - Gavin had a visit with his eye surgeon today. She continues to be in awe of his healing and the fact that there's no visible scar. We won't see her again until February!

Gavin's Birthday Party!...

Today was Gavin's birthday party! It was a fun day and our superhero was in a great mood.

The cake - an homage to Gavin's favorite part of this year. His time on the beach...in the ocean...he was so happy when those waves would crash up around him.

I tried to plan it out so the boys had naps before the party - but neither of them fell asleep. Gavin was in a great mood - and so happy to see his Granny and Pop!

Brian, however, was not himself. He was shy with the other kids...acting out...and a bit of a cranky pants.

Gavin got to see his Godmother, Aunt Bean!

And also Uncle Jim, Shannon and Claire. The only one missing was their brother, Brendan! We missed you, Brendan!

Gavin and Brian's buddy, Eli, came with his Mom, Lauren. Miss Katja is now their nanny!

And our neighbor friends, Patti and Patrick also came by with their twins, Seamus and Molly. Seamus shared a moment with Gavin that was so sweet. I can't tell you how happy I am when Gavin interacts with other kids - even if it's just long enough to take a photo for proof that it happened. He even looked right at Seamus and smiled - I think it was one of the highlights of the party for me.

And Molly was adorable - she enjoyed the little favor bucket that I gave to everyone. Well, the kids - much to Ed's dismay, there were no "Slinkys" for the "big" kids.

Cake time was rather hilarious, thanks to Brian.

Brian seems sweet and ready to go as we waited for Daddy to bring over the cake. I anticipated him trying to sing along to Happy Birthday - we have practiced twenty times a day all week...complete with clapping at the end. Well, it didn't quite go as planned. I had to make a decision - let this incident stress me out during Gavin's "moment"...or laugh and know that years from now I'll still be laughing at this classic memory. Take a look and tell me what you would have done!

(Admittedly, it was pretty funny!)

Gavin had a few bites of cake and loved it!

It was a nice afternoon. Gavin received some really fun presents which was so thoughtful of everyone. He's so loved...and we are so lucky to have such nice friends and family!

As I make the finishing touches on Gavin's birthday video, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with admiration for this child. The year started off terribly with an extremely traumatic eye surgery and a long, painful recovery. Anyone would have understood if he regressed...if he resisted therapy...if he wanted to slack off. Gavin did just the opposite. The progress he made despite all he went through was remarkable.

I am doing my best to have this video ready to show tomorrow. Ironically, the boys and I will be headed to DuPont hospital in the morning to visit his eye surgeon for a check on his eye. We spent a lot of time with her this year - there was a period that I made that hour drive to the hospital every single day for her to see Gavin. I know she'll be happy to see Gavin doing so well.

I am the mother to a Superhero. How did I ever get this lucky?

Happy Fourth Birthday, Gavin!!