First thing this morning I called Dr. Trish's office. As it rang, I crossed my achy fingers that she would miraculously have an opening for me. I was thrilled when she said she could not only see me...but Gavin as well!
He was, as usual, so happy to see her and to be in her office. We went into one of her private treatment rooms together. Gavin sat in his stroller and watched a movie while I was face down on her treatment table. She really did a long and thorough treatment on me - hoping to release all the pain, the trauma from the summer (egg donor failure, Lyme disease, giving up trying for a baby, Gavin's hospitalization, sending him to school...etc.). And for Gavin, she concentrated on his legs and his core. She told me she felt that he is really wanting to walk on his own. What she didn't know is how true that is. Gavin is starting to walk a lot holding just one of our hands. He also easily scales the walls down the hallway - something that Miss Wendy had hoped he would do months ago. I see big things in store in the walking department.
Dr. Trish told me that she did so much work on me that over the next few days I should expect to feel great...or like a truck hit me. I'll let you know what happens! Before I left, I made standing Friday morning appointments for me and Gavin. Friday's an easy day because there's no school. Now I just need to figure out one more day for my solo appointment - that will be tough. But I need to get back to her so I can get back to myself.
When I got home, Brian and Miss Sara met me at the garage door to announce that Brian got TWO STARS while I was gone. His behavior was excellent! Woo Hoo!
But as soon as I crossed the threshold into the house...everything fell apart. The whining started. The crying started. The pitching a fit started. I asked Sara if he did that at all while I was gone. Nope, she said. So right then and there - I knew what I needed to do.
Brian and Mommy were going on a date.
We called Daddy at work and asked him if he'd meet us for lunch and he was thrilled! Brian and I waited at the table with a giant Spider Man coloring book.
Then Daddy arrived!! Brian beamed the entire time. Not a single whine, complaint, tear...nothing. We showered his little ego with compliments and praise and lots of love.
I ordered Brian a giant hot dog and it was super cool.
See what I mean?? It looks like a totem pole! He devoured it.
We said goodbye to Daddy and headed to our next stop.
The MOVIES!!
We were the only ones in the entire theater to see "Finding Nemo - 3D" - Brian's first 3D movie!
I was a little nervous he wouldn't want to keep the glasses on...or it would freak him out. But, as you can see...he was pretty mesmerized!!
The movie was adorable and he chattered about it the entire way home. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Operation "STOP THE WHINING" felt like a big success.
Until dinnertime. Sigh.
But I will not be deterred. I am going to figure out how to nip this whining crap in the bud. And I'm going to continue having one on one dates with both of my children. If it's not doing anything for them...it certainly makes ME happy!! And really, isn't that all that matters. *wink*
I wish when I would wine someone would take me out to lunch and the movies : ) You rewarded his behavior. How about next trying some discipline like time-outs?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you.
DeleteThanks for your "thoughtful" and "non-judgemental" comments! I don't do time outs, but I do discipline. It just so happens that I have needed to devote more attention on Gavin lately and I think Brian was feeling left out. All behavior - a child's and an adult's - stems from a need. In my "professional mommy of Brian" opinion... He needed to spend time with just his parents. I'm not sure, without being in my house and knowing the details, that seemed like such a terrible approach to both of you.
ReplyDeleteIf you are both moms, I just have to say that judgement doesn't help. We are all out here doing the best we know how with our own UNIQUE circumstances. We should support each other. I happen to think I'm a devoted mom.
It definitely sounds like he is attention seeking. Be glad he's only whining though. I had a young cousin that decided to pee EVERYWHERE to get attention. It was great(NOT!) Anyway, the best thing to do is punish him without giving him much attention. Perhaps just a quick "Brian, don't whine" then go back to what you were doing. If he keeps whining, say it again and tell him that if he doesn't stop, he will be punished. If he still doesn't stop, punish him. I know you don't do time outs, but you might want to consider it for this as it means not rewarding him with the attention he wants. But whatever punishment you choose, make sure it doesn't give him a lot of attention. And afterwards, tell him that he was punished for whining and not stopping when he was told to. Be consistent and stand firm! He will probably cry and whine more for a while when you punish him. That's his way of trying to get out of punishment. Don't be fooled! Stay strong and eventually you defeat the whining! However, when he's behaving, reward him with the one thing he wants more than anything else right now- LOTS and LOTS of attention from you! Eventually he will learn. Until then, keep at it.
ReplyDeleteWow. So many "experts!" Kate, raise your children how you and Ed see fit. You are a truly great mom who has advocated for your children time and time again. You do NOT have to defend yourself to anyone - especially know-it-alls who haven't walked in your particular shoes. No one, especially those who hide behind the anonymous button, has the right to tell you ANYTHING!
ReplyDeleteYou keep doing exactly what you are doing. Your children are lucky to have you!
(and before any of you anonymous people point out that my comment is listed under anonymous, I have to start that way but.....)
I proudly sign my name:
STEPHANIE from Portland