This week, Brian got a new bike. The same training-wheel kind of bike he had before, but bigger to carry his growing body. The day we got it home - with the tags still on it - he had an unfortunate incident in front of two little neighbor friends - he fell. He was fine... but his pride was bruised. Since then, he has been afraid to ride his new bike.
I had to come up with a plan.
So, this morning I announced our goal for the day:
"Today we're going to be confident! Not scared of anything. And maybe we'll try something new!"
"Ok, Mommy!" he replied eagerly.
We packed up his new bike and mine and we all went to the parking lot of his pre-school. It's flat... big... familiar... and I knew it would be empty. I had to get this kid's mojo back.
But he wasn't having it. He asked for Daddy to walk along side him for a while. Ed obliged.
He asked for me to ride near him for a while. So I did.
No amount of encouragement could coax him to "let go" and just ride.
We got to a patch of grass that was covered with dandelions. Brian hopped off his bike, gladly, and headed to the "wish flowers."
"What do you want to wish Mommy?" he asked.
"It's your wish, Brian - you're holding it!" I replied.
"Do you wish I wouldn't be scared to ride my bike anymore?"
"No. I would wish that you would remember how fun it is to ride your bike and how good you are at it!" I said... wishing I had come up with something better.
He stood there with the dandelion in his hand for a minute and then said...
"I wish that Jesus would send Gavin back to me." and he blew as hard as he could.
He picked up another and said "I love Gavin!" - blow - "I love Mommy!" - blow - "I love Daddy!" - blow- "I love Hope!" - blow - "I love Darcy!" - blow.
I watched this boy - so sweet and loving and filled with wishes that are pure and innocent. And filled with grief over the loss of his brother.
"I just want to do one more, Mommy. And then I want to go home. I don't want to ride my bike anymore," he announced.
"Ok, buddy. That's fine."
And with that, he held the dandelion to his lips once again. And, once again, wished for Jesus to send his brother back.
As he blew his wishes to Heaven, I did too. Wishing I could make his wish come true.
awwww... Brian. You are just adorable. Sitting here with tears in my eyes and love in my heart for this darling child who touches the hearts of many all over the world every day because his mummy cares enough to share with the world.
ReplyDeleteWishes to Heaven......Gosh if it was that easy I would wish for it for Brian and all of you. Thank you once again for a heartfelt post and for sharing your life with us. ((((((((hugs)))))))))
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post - and what an amazing boy you have.
ReplyDeleteHave you looked into "balance bikes" for Brian? Might give him the confidence he needs on bikes while developing the critical component of balance. Do a quick google search and you'll find lots of information about them - they are highly recommended!
So sad and so sweet. Brian is precious:-)
ReplyDeleteTears are flowing. I, too, am a grieving mother. I received a card last year on my baby's first birthday that had a poem. The poem stated that all the dandelions were from my angel sending his kisses to me. Every time I look at them, I think of my William. The grief of children is so real--my almost 5 year old misses his brother more than I can comprehend. Brian is my Carson. Every time I read your blog, I see my own children in the pictures. Thank you so much for being real--you are hitting me at my core in Ottawa, KS.
ReplyDeleteI love your posts I enjoy hearing about your beautiful family it touches my heart everytime I read them
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