Water...

This week's events - if I haven't mentioned it before - have just leveled me.  The irony of the woman who performed the ultimate random act of kindness for me after Gavin died... then lost her own little boy a little over a year later.  And the fact that he died in a pool the week I've been writing about Brian's swim lessons at the local YMCA.

But there's something else.  As you know, Gavin LOVED the water.  Any kind of water.  He also had no concept of danger.  If someone had predicted that Gavin was going to die in a random and unexpected way - I would have assumed it would have been in water -  not a random febrile seizure that would stop his heart on a sunny, Wednesday afternoon in April.  Gavin, like Bode, was not 100% like his peers, cognitively and developmentally.  This tragic accident could easily have happened to Gavin.  It just would have taken five seconds of not looking.  Honestly - Gavin was that quick and it is just that easy to get yourself into trouble that you can't get out of.

So for the last few days - as I watched Brian in his swim lesson - I thought of Bode.  And Gavin.  And how Brian was fearful of the water for a long time... until Gavin died.  After Gavin died, it was like he passed on his love affair with water to Brian.  It's a beautiful thing to watch him play and splash and jump in the pool into his Daddy's arms or mine.

Brian was brave over these last two weeks and tried new things!

He was able to float on his back unassisted for ten seconds!

He practiced putting his face in the water and swimming using his arms and kicking his legs.

He enjoyed laughing with his fun swim instructor, Miss Stephanie.

"She's hilarious, Mom." he told me

The other kids in his class seemed way more advanced - they were jumping in without anyone catching them... swimming doggie paddle or actually swimming back to the wall... swimming using the noodle, etc.  I was proud of Brian for knowing what he could and couldn't do, though.  He didn't try anything that he knew he couldn't do without the teacher's help.

The last day was yesterday and it was all about safety.  She taught them how to use a pool noodle (or anything they can find) to pull a friend out of the water.  They learned about calling a lifeguard for help.  They practiced with life vests and getting in and out of an emergency raft (definitely the highlight of Brian's experience!)

Brian definitely seems to have a healthy fear of water.  But here's the thing... I'm still not comfortable.  After this experience with Bode this week - I feel like Brian (and maybe even Hope!) need serious swim training.  We don't have a pool at our home (and never will, thank you!) - and we're happy to catch Brian as long as he wants and hold him in the water to play.  But I want him to be able to save himself if he falls into a pool.  I'm considering private swim lessons throughout the rest of the summer.

Thank you to (the hilarious!) Miss Stephanie from our YMCA for a great two week swim lesson!

The last two weeks has also been "stroller boot camp" for little Miss Hope.  Brian and I decided that she needed to love sitting in her stroller and learn to entertain herself before we go on vacations this summer to the beach or to amusement parks - or for things like his swim lessons or Tee Ball in the Fall.  We are happy to report that she passed "boot camp" with flying colors.  She sat in her stroller happily 80% of the time during Brian's swim lessons entertaining herself...

...10% of the time engrossed in watching her brother in the pool...

...and the rest of the time in my lap cheering Brian on!  The love affair continues.

Swim Little Fish!...

This was my sweet Brian last June.  I had signed him up for swim lessons at our local YMCA - just a couple months after Gavin died.  He was terrified and miserable for the first few lessons.  

Since then, he has fallen in love with water - reminding us so much of Gavin - who was our little fish!  I signed him up for swim lessons at the YMCA again, and they began this week.

Brian was so excited!  We got there early and had a little fun in the bleachers.

Soon the class began and as Brian jumped in the pool without any swim aids, I couldn't help but think, "What a difference a year makes."

Hope was engrossed by the entire lesson.  As a side note, Brian and I decided that we are holding "stroller boot camp" for the next few weeks.  We love to hold and carry Hope everywhere - it doesn't bother us at all and she likes the better view.  Who wouldn't, right?  But... when we go to the beach and walk the boardwalk this summer, it may be a lot easier on all of us if she would sit in a stroller.  She's not the biggest fan - but I know that will change after "stroller boot camp!"  Brian had the first brilliant idea - "I know!" he said.  "We can push her around the house in her stroller so she sees all of her favorite things and won't be sad!" 

But back to swim lessons...

Brian's in a very small class this year - he's one of four kids, which is great!  He's had a lot of fun so far and I'm impressed with his bravery.  The other kids seem much more advanced and need minimal assistance.  I think the teacher assumed that Brian was at the same level.  I was SO proud of Brian for speaking up and letting her know that he couldn't swim on his own!  

I can't wait to report on his progress over the next week.

I have big news!  Miss Hope is starting to scoot!!!  She sees what she wants and goes for it!  Take a look...

I'm now employing the same technique I used for Gavin and Brian when they were learning to get around:  rearranging!  I move her toys around so each day she has to find her favorites.

She's so proud of herself and thinks she's so cool that she barely has time for us anymore.  

Day two of feeding her Yams went great!  She opened her mouth wide each time, which was so adorable.

She's always looking for Brian...

...and she never has to look far!  Her personal cheerleader is always close by.

Hope is growing and changing so quickly.  It's exciting and promising and exhilarating and so, so beautiful.  We feel so blessed to have this little angel (literally!) in our lives.

Sick and Tired...

The title of this post is literal - I really am sick.  And holy cow, am I tired.  In related news, I'm tired of being sick.  But I'm not tired of being pregnant.  Am I on a tangent?

Focus, Kate...

So, for the last three days I have been descending slowly into a circle of Hell.  That circle is reserved for pregnant women who are sick and simultaneously caring for other children in the house and unable to take much of anything for their symptoms... such as coughing up lungs, splitting sinus headaches, glass in their throat and tissue box hoarding.  

But such is life... and life, as you know, goes on.

Today has been the worst day so far and, as luck would have it, I had an OB appointment so I knew he could check me out.  The good news is, Miss Hope looks great.  My OB has a pretty old ultrasound machine so the pictures won't be as clear as they used to be.  I was too out of it to take my usual video of the ultrasound which was a shame.  She was really dancing around today!!

Hope is measuring around 7 inches.  Did you know the easy trick to know the appropriate growth size of a baby in utero?  If you half the number of weeks you are, that is the amount of inches you should expect the baby to be.  So I am 14 weeks, 3 days - and Hope measured 7 inches.  If you think about it, it's true!  A full term 40 week baby should be about 20 inches - which is probably close to what most of us were.  Pretty cool trick, eh?  You're welcome.

The bad news... I have a sinus infection and a wicked cough.  He didn't hear anything to suggest bronchitis or pneumonia - but it sure feels like it.  So it's rest (ha ha) and fluids and wait it out.

Brian has been incredible today.  It's almost like he knows something is up.  He's been quietly and independently playing all day.  On my way out the door to the doctor he came out with the unsolicited, "Bye!  I hope you feel better, Mommy!"  He's just been such an angel today, thank God.

He even took it well when I told him we couldn't go to swimming this morning.  Tomorrow is his last class and I'm hoping I'll feel well enough to take him.  But if not, he really did get a lot out of the class already.  Remember the first day when he practically hyperventilated from crying?  Oh wait, that was me as he was clinging to my leg.  Well, look at him now...

Floating on his back!

Kicking while holding onto the barbell float!

Swimming with big scoop arms across the pool!

And a cheeky double thumbs up to me after every activity!

I'm so proud of him.  

For so many reasons.

Kinda Wordless...

I thought I'd try to make this a "Wordless" post and share all the amazing (I mean TOTALLY amazing) photos from Brian's successful (and I mean TOTAL turnaround from yesterday!) swim lesson.  He had the time of his life.  See - I'm already failing at being wordless.  I'm too full of words.  If you get through all the photos, I have a few more words for you at the bottom that you might like a lot.

The morning started off a little rocky and Brian was crying at the side of the pool.  I decided to pretend I didn't see him (which felt horrible) every time he looked my way.  I just kept a perma-grin, excited look on my face.  Next time I looked his way, he was doing this...

...and this...

...and raising his hand to go "first"...

...and I've saved the best video for last.  Be sure to watch until the adorable end...

Wow - so much for wordless.

Anyway!  I decided to do something special every Monday on my Chasing Rainbows Facebook page. Yes, I know that today is Tuesday.  Let's move on.  I can make it right next week.  (Hopefully on Monday.)  Here's my great idea.  Every day I get many, many requests from people hoping to share their causes, facebook pages, blogs, voting links... what have you.  I had to make the difficult decision to say no to everyone - because I couldn't say yes to everyone!  And there was no way I could or would pick and choose.  To me, everyone is important.  The only things I share are those things or people that I have a personal connection with.  Truly, if I said yes to everyone - my page would be completely filled, every day, with other people's links and pages, etc.  

So...from now on, every Monday, I will post this on my Facebook Page:

"Share yourself!"

Then, you are welcome to post your blog, your page, your cause, your website - whatever you want as a COMMENT under that post...and that post only, so everyone will see it.  Then everyone can read through and discover new friends, inspiration, people who need help...etc.  It seems like it's finally something I can do that will allow people the exposure they are seeking without changing my page.  My page started out as a small page dedicated to my blog - which is dedicated to my family and our story.  I really like it that way.  But I really like this idea, too!  So, I'm off to create that post tonight... and I hope to see you Share Yourself!!

(Wow.  I am really bad at this wordless thing.)

Oh, and one more thing.  Gavin's school is on a summer break at the moment, which means that the first plans for the funds in "Gavin's Trust Project" are not completed yet.  Last time I communicated with them, they were still working on figuring out items they would need for new students starting in the Fall.  They are not rushing into purchases, which I appreciate!  I will be SURE to give a great update with lots of details when decisions are made!  I can't tell you how grateful they are for this incredible fund that just keeps growing and growing.  I am still open for donations - anytime - and you can find the link always on the right side of this blog.  Gavin will be part of so many lives of kids like him...hopefully for many years to come.

A true superhero.