Let's Lighten This Space Up A Bit...

I might not be able to change the way I'm feeling at the moment... but I CAN change the mood on here!  And hey - that's a start, right?

So I have some amazing - awesome - news to share.  Maybe not a big deal to some, but a big deal to me.  Yesterday, Brian decided he was ready to swing on the "big" swing.  Up until now, he's only wanted to lay on his belly on this swing... or sit in the bucket baby seat we have.  But yesterday - he decided that it was time and asked me to push him...

...and he loved it.

We have three swings.  Two sling swings and a bucket swing (Gavin's main swing) on the end.  So yesterday as I sat in the middle and pushed Brian, he had this to say:

"Mama?  Since Heaven is everywhere, maybe Gavin is swinging with us!"

"I bet he is, buddy!  Wish we could see him, don't you?"

"Yeah," he said.  And then, "Mama?  I think you need to push him," as he nodded towards Gavin's swing.

And so that's just what I did.  I pushed "angel Gavin" in the empty swing with my left hand... and Brian with my right.  And a good time was had by all, of this I'm sure.

Ed took off for the weekend for a much needed getaway with a couple friends, so it's just Brian and me for the next few days.  We started the weekend off on the right foot by going out for a spontaneous ice cream cone. 

Hopefully it continues to be a sweet and smiley weekend for me and my little man.

Molasses...

Here's the thing about my body.  People generally think it's lying... or I'm lying when I describe it.  I've always had this ability to block out what I'm feeling and act fine.  When I complain, it's generally bad.  Knowing that I have a child who can't talk - but has a LOT to complain about - well, that will keep me from complaining about much anyway.  Truly.

That being said... this has been a rough week for this old body of mine!  I've been in one of those Fibromyalgia fogs and my arthritis has been acting up at the same time.  So basically I have felt like I've been trudging through molasses mentally and physically and saying "owie" with every click of my joints.  I've been in bed early every night - sometimes before 9pm, which is crazy!  And mornings are extremely insulting no matter how early I go to sleep.

But life goes on.  And a good life at that.  Not too long ago I found an old hammock chair I bought in the Outer Banks sometime in the 90s!  I hooked it up to our swingset in the backyard today and the boys LOVED it! 

Gavin was first.  I put a sheet under him so the fabric, which is probably pretty dirty, didn't give him a rash.

He was so cozy and comfortable, he nearly fell asleep!

Next, it was Brian's turn and he laughed and laughed and laughed...

After the hammock chair, I held Gavin as I sat on the regular swing and felt SO honored when he put his head on my chest and fell asleep.  Gavin rarely, rarely snuggles - and never falls asleep in your arms - so this was a big deal.

It's simple moments like these that get me through anything I might be struggling with - physically, mentally or emotionally.

And it's moments like THIS that put it all in proper perspective.  (Note - today was one of those extremely insulting mornings and I traded more sleep for wearing a baseball cap.)

 I'm so lucky to be the Mommy to these two little boys.

One of my New Year's resolutions - next to figuring out how to eat more cupcakes and stop aging  - is to get more active on Twitter.  You'd really be helping me out if you shipped me cupcakes.  But I'd settle for you following me on Twitter.  You can find the clicky link thing on the right side of my page.

Let's Move On, Shall We?...

Last night after putting the boys to bed I got my cry on. It was a good, long lasting, therapeutic cry. And then...I was done. I woke up this morning and started a new day. I have a hard time curling up into a ball and cursing the Heavens when I have two little boys that were sent straight from Heaven into my arms! It's hard to mourn the babies I don't have...or did have...when the babies I DO have are smiling at me and looking to be entertained. So entertain them I did. This morning we had a lot of fun.

I filled up the water table on the deck and Brian instantly got into the spirit...

...Gavin braced himself, but stood his own against the Tsunami - er, I mean his brother. We played with bubbles that we got at the beach last week - huge, gigantic bubbles that come out of this big bubble shooter. It's pretty awesome!

Gavin did a good job standing for a while and playing in the water...

Brian took off exploring in the yard and even took a little time to smell the flowers. Shouldn't we all?

Then off we went to the swingset. Gavin and Brian both love to swing - the higher, the better!

And Gavin impresses me with how well he holds himself up - even when I'm pushing him hard.

After lunch, it was time for me. I rarely do things like this, but I booked a massage. Back in May, on the first anniversary of Darcy's birth, friends from my online playgroup sent me a very generous gift card from "Spa Finder". I decided to hold it and use it on a day that I was really missing my daughter. Today seemed like the perfect day. I'm grateful in times like this to have help here. I had no reservations skipping out and leaving the boys with Miss Katja, who they adore. And I am still so grateful to my "imaginary" friends who never forget me - they are my biggest supporters.

I chose a place called Antoinette Day Spa from the Spa Finder list. I got there a little early and sat in a lovely sun room with a good magazine while I waited. I even had a cup of tea, chosen from a beautiful cherry wood box lined with velvet. I felt pretty fancy (in my flip flops, shorts and glasses).

I had a wonderful, hour long massage. I surprised myself that I was able to relax and clear my mind. Many times I have laid on a massage table and made mental "to-do" lists...but not this time. In my mind the view was the same as it was when I opened my eyes...

I'm pretty sure I even snored. It was an hour of bliss to end out a blissful day.

I do believe that everything is going to be just fine.

Swinging Into Summer...

What a busy, busy day. Insanely busy.

Right after breakfast, we headed to the Allergist with both boys. Gavin has been allergy tested twice, but never for seasonal allergies. Brian has never been tested. The office visit was a little bit stressful...we needed to keep both boys off their backs which is a little difficult for Gavin who loves to roll around. Miss Katja stayed with him as he watched a movie on his belly - but he was rather challenging at times to keep still.

Brian was a maniac, but entertained himself spinning, jumping, climbing on Mommy and opening and closing cabinets and doors. After about ten to fifteen minutes of torture - er, I mean blissful times with my children - the doctor came back in to read the results.

Brian: No allergies. He was tested for seasonal, eggs, dogs, peanuts...

and nothing showed up.

Gavin: Lots of allergies. Eggs, Birch Tree, Grass, Pollen...and a pretty significant Dog allergy that validated our difficult decision to give our dog away over a year ago.

We got home in time to feed the boys lunch and get ready for Miss Janna, Gavin's teacher. They

did a lot of fun activities today including "Spin Art"! She also brought a five minute timer and tried to make Gavin participate for that long on each activity.

Miss Maggie came for feeding therapy immediately after. Today she used a technique called "toweling" where she used a towel to massage his face with a different texture. He then

practiced crunching into fish

crackers and veggie straws. He did a pretty good job, although lately he has been very resistant to crunching.

The most exciting news today was the arrival of our new swingset!!! They were installing it for much of the afternoon. Here are some shots of the progress...and the end result!

This is the spot in our yard where we chose to place it - that is our neighbor's house in the background. We asked them over and over if they were okay with the spot, I swear!

It took them about three hours to install...

Voila! From both sides...

Ed wasted no time bringing the boys out to play!

Gavin did a great job on the swing - and keeping himself upright will be a wonderful strengthening exercise!!

Click below to see him in action!

Brian was in Heaven!

I think it's going to be a very fun summer!!