Overwhelmed and Underwhelmed...

This morning we were up, dressed and ready early. Miss Stephanie, Gavin's Occupational Therapist, was coming for breakfast so she could work with Gavin on feeding and using utensils. He did a phenomenal job. While I've been working with him on eating solids, I don't always hand him the fork or spoon to do it himself. (Note to self: I will now!) He did a great job - check it out!

We couldn't do entire meals like this. Gavin successfuly fed himself at least five or six bites in a row - of pancake, banana and mandarin oranges. But he tuckered out after a while. It's a lot - the processing, the physical demand, the chewing - it's exhausting for him. But it's a start! Miss Stephanie was very excited.

While Gavin was feeding himself, Brian was next door in his chair practicing drinking from an open cup. He's also doing a great job! He needs some reminders to go slow when he's tilting, but otherwise - great!! And he's super proud of himself after every sip. He's asking me for "more" with his sign language in this photo. Although I have to say, he's been doing a great job stringing words together with some prompting. I always have him ask me, "Mama...more milk, please!"

Soon after Stephanie left, my sister, Bean, arrived. She came to stay with the boys so I could run to my ultrasound. The boys LOVE Aunt Bean. The other day she taught Brian to play "I Spy" and he's been asking me to play ever since. Brian was very excited when I told him Aunt Bean was coming this morning.

My ultrasound this morning was a bummer. They were underwhelmed by the number of follicles I have...and so was I. It's all a wait and see - they have to grow to a certain size before they are ready to release. In this case, they will be extracted under anesthesia in a procedure fittingly called "Egg Retrieval." We could be looking at the end of next week for that. I drove home in tears - really disappointed with the number of follicles. A greater number of follicles give you more of a chance of getting at least one good egg - which is all we need! I could have ten follicles - but only one that is good. So the more there are the better our chances. I'm probably not explaining this very well. Sorry.

I came home and had some work to do with our insurance company - which is never, ever fun. I have never - ever - dealt with an insurance company that made a member jump through a thousand hoops to get something. We now have United Health Care. They give you instructions - which you follow - which lead you to another person who gives you another set of instructions - which differ from the first set - and then the second set, which just gets you more confused, leads you to a completely different department that tells you that you never should have been in the first department to begin with - that they told you all incorrect information - and - confused yet? Welcome to my world. I hung up so defeated - which I'm sure was their goal.

Later this afternoon I took the boys for haircuts. As usual, they were so good. I think they're just so used to it now - it doesn't phase them at all. But between the hairdresser and baths when we got home - something happened and I don't know what or how. Gavin, who rarely cries - and when he does, he means it - has been very upset. After his bath I noticed his eye - the bad eye - was red. That sometimes happens when it gets wet - and it quickly recovers. This time, it didn't. I put extra ointment in his eye at bedtime hoping that would help...but I'm worried. I just spent the last 45 minutes with him - singing and rubbing his back and trying to get him to sleep - but he was just so upset. I'm not going to lie...I'm freaking out a little bit. I plan to go back in a few times during the night to check his eye - and if needed, add ointment. Please pray that when I go into his room tomorrow I look over his crib and see the whites of his eyes - literally!!

I'm pretty confident that I need a really, really good cry tonight. And maybe tomorrow.