Pre-Transfer Jitters...

Last night after I published my journal entry from my parent's home computer, I started packing up to leave. We had fed the boys their dinner and decided to take a chance that when we got home the power would be back on. If not, we'd just bundle everyone up to keep warm. Just when we turned our backs for a minute, Gavin was going up my parents stairs. When we got to the stairs he was only two steps up. But he turned when he heard us and fell. Right on his face. I've mentioned before that Gavin doesn't express pain very much. When he cries out in pain - and keeps crying - you know it's bad. He had cut his lip from the inside - he must have bit it. And his lip instantly started to swell. It was the icing on what was already a really bad day. The good news? When we pulled into our development, our neighbors porch lights lit the way down the street. We had our power back. Thank God. And our food seems to have survived after 27 hours. We knew to not open any of the doors.

It was confirmed that tomorrow is my embryo transfer. We need to be at the fertility clinic at 8:30 for an 8:45 transfer. My discomfort from the egg retrieval has not subsided too much. Actually my abdomen has become so distended and bloated I look like I'm about four months pregnant. Ed stayed home from work so I could rest my body for tomorrow's procedure so I did just that. I spent most of the day in bed with my heating pad.

This is a big deal - this embryo transfer. I am trying to remain stress-free so I can go into tomorrow with positive energy, but it has been hard. I'm a bundle of nerves which is not good. After the transfer, I will stay at the clinic for a half hour to an hour laying flat. I need to ride home with the seat back so I'm in a lying position. Then, when I get home, I'm on strict bed rest for 24 hours. I'm allowed up to pee. After all I've gone through to get to this point, I'm taking the bed rest part very seriously. I want to be sure I do everything I can to make this a success. There was a lot of stress this afternoon trying to secure help at the house for those 24 hours since Ed has something going on at work he doesn't want to miss. I'm almost there. Ugh.

I snuck out of the house late this afternoon as I was determined to meet our friends new baby, A.J.! It was my only chance for a while because of my transfer tomorrow! I'm so glad I went. It turns out that they are in the same room that Brian and I spent four days in after his birth. As I sat there holding their new little NINE POUND bundle, it was easy to remember the happy days I spent there holding a brand new Brian. A.J. is just a gorgeous baby and, let me tell you, he felt so perfect in my arms.

I know I ask for a lot of positive thoughts from you. Here I am again. I could use all the positivity and white light and prayers that you can muster as I go into tomorrow. I really want this to work. I need it to work.