Chasing Rainbows: Hi, Dad...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Hi, Dad...

Hi, Dad.

It's Father's Day Weekend and I'm really missing you. Not really because it's "Father's Day". Not at all. When you have a Dad as great as mine - every day is Father's Day, let's be honest. It's just coincidental that I'm needing you and missing you and wishing you were here to talk to at the moment.

I could really use one of your hugs.

You know that I'm generally a very positive person. I get that from you! But for the last few days I've become increasingly down and I can't stop the train headed to 'downville'. My anxiety is growing over these negative pregnancy tests. I know it's too early to "give up", but it's getting harder to stay hopeful.

I could also use one of your pep talks.

It didn't help that today Ed and I went to DuPont to meet with Gavin's Genetic team. We had to go over consent forms and have our blood drawn in order to start Gavin's Exome Sequencing test. We feel SO lucky to be part of this groundbreaking new testing. But it brought it home for me again the years I have diligently brought Gavin back for genetic test after genetic test...researched genetic syndromes into the wee hours of the morning...all to try to shed some light onto our mystery boy. And it was a reminder of why we long for another sibling for the boys. We had to make hard decisions today - like whether we want to know if Gavin is predisposed to diseases in the near or distant future...like Cancer. Or if he is a carrier for any genetic diseases that would affect children that he would have. In the end - we decided we wanted to know it all. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Tomorrow is Brian's 'half birthday' - he'll be 3 1/2. I know you see him, so I don't need to tell you how he's talking and telling jokes and doing puzzles and pretending. But I wish you were really here - I can see you sitting patiently with him over a puzzle. Every so often Brian comes out with the question, "Pop come home soon?" Boy, how I wish I could say yes.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I talk to you every day, as usual. And I still call Mom every day - not much has changed there. I hope someday to hear from you - somehow, someway. I miss you so much.

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Gavin's Playground Project

Gavin's Playground Project was born from my desire to see an "All Abilities" playground built at Nemours/A.I. duPont Hospital for Children in Wilmington, Delaware. This is the hospital where Gavin spent a lot of time during his life... and where he ultimately died, surrounded by friendly and familiar faces. To mark the one year anniversary of his death, I held a fundraiser on April 5, 2014. You can read all about it in THIS post.

We raised a LOT of money, but not enough for a playground! If you would like to contribute to help make this playground a reality - so no kids will ever have to sit on the sidelines watching their peers play - you can contribute directly to the hospital through the Chasing Rainbows fundraising page HERE. Your donation will go directly to the hospital for the playground and is tax deductible. You can also create your own fundraising team page and start collecting donations in honor of anyone you want!! There is also a mailing address on their page if you prefer to mail a check. Designate your contribution in memory of Gavin Leong - or write in that this is for the playground so your dollars will go to the right place. Thank you for your support of Gavin's Playground Project!

Gavin's Trust Project

I created "Gavin's Trust Project" to help support Gavin's friends who receive services from the Chester County Intermediate Unit in Pennsylvania. I wanted to continue to try to "make the impossible... possible" for kids like Gavin, knowing well how hard it can be to get much needed "special needs" items. It makes me happy to know that even after his death, Gavin continues to help others. Click HERE to learn more about the Trust Project! All of your donations, big and small, will be added to Gavin's Trust Project to help therapists and teachers get what they need for children in this program. You can write a check made out to CCIU and mail it to: Chester County Intermediate Unit, c/o Deb Hiller, 455 Boot Rd., Downingtown, PA 19335. Please be sure to add "Gavin's Trust Project" in the memo. Thank you on behalf of me and my little superhero!