We'll Keep Telling Stories...

Every day, we tell stories at our house.  

I write our stories here - the good, the bad, the flattering, the unflattering.  I write our stories to keep a record...for me and for Ed and for our children.  I don't want to forget these moments that make up our lives.

Brian tells stories, too.  Every day he whispers something new to his little sister.  

Sometimes it's about Star Wars...or, like yesterday, it's about special ornaments - each with their own stories - and the new angel on the top of the tree.

But most of the time, it's about Gavin.  Every day he tells Hope - "Gavin died."  Or, he'll say, "Gavin died...but that's okay.  You have me."

And one day, when Hope is older, she will tell us her own stories...she'll have her own special ornaments, her own memories of her brother.  And hopefully, she'll remember that her special angel brother loves her from afar... but is just a whisper away.

Yesterday Brian had his school friend, Daniel, over for the afternoon.  His mother, our neighbor Sonia, drove Brian to and from school all this week to help me out.  So yesterday, when she dropped Brian off - Daniel stayed!  The boys had SO much fun together and I loved hearing Brian laugh so much with a buddy.  They played together so well and hardly needed any intervention or input from me at all!

At times it made me wistful - having another little boy around reminded me how much I miss seeing Gavin and Brian interact.  And it gave me a deeper appreciation for Brian's great loss.

I loved watching these two silly boys play and make up games and argue over who's turn it was to do everything and negotiate snacks - all of it.  The two of them made me laugh as much as they made each other laugh.

I'm so glad that Brian has made friends in his new school... and has come out of his shell socially.  It makes me happy to see him happy.  We will definitely be having more playdates in Brian's future!!  

And along the way, we'll keep telling our stories.  For everyone and no one in particular... but mainly for us.  Each and every one of us.  The story of our family - as individuals and as a unit - has its ups and downs, tragedies and triumphs, heartbreak and joy.  But my favorite part of our family story?  It's ours.  We know who we are... we know why we make the choices we make... we know the stories behind the stories.  And no one - ever - can take that away.

p.s.... Hope had her weight check this morning and lost an ounce.  Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it did put an ounce of worry in my head!  We'll be upping our breastfeeding game this weekend to prep for Tuesday morning's next weight check!!