I would say that 95% of the time I forget Gavin is "different". Seriously - I do! His peculiarities and his disability have become so normal to us that it's easy to forget sometimes that it's not normal. That he's not normal.
Today was one of those days that fell into that other 5% of the time. Gavin was difficult for some reason. He was sensory seeking all day long - thrashing around, drooling a lot, kicking. He wasn't upset - just couldn't be still! It made it hard to wrangle him during diaper changes...to hold him without feeling like he'd fall out of my arms...to get him strapped into his car seat...and he was extremely difficult to feed. It was during a meal that it hit me. When I was finally able to get some food into his mouth, he flung his head back and forth and food flew everywhere. I had a moment when it was hard to choke back the tears. Gavin is different...and it hurts.
But, he's super handsome! Check out his new short summer haircut...
Itching to get out of the house after naps, we took the boys to a furniture store. Even though I'm not ready for Brian to be out of his crib yet, we have started looking at bedroom sets for him. He definitely needs a bigger dresser STAT due to his parents shopping addiction. Our boys have WAY too many cute clothes.
...but I couldn't imagine giving him a twin bed. They just seem so small to me!! Problem is, Brian's room is the smallest in the house. We need to do some measuring and re-thinking to be sure a full bed would work. I want to be sure he has room to play and read and just "be" in there! Stay tuned...we'll figure something out!
As I walked around the store excitedly looking at "big boy beds" for my 2 1/2 year old, my heart started to ache for my 3 1/2 year old. I have had zero desire to take Gavin out of his crib. He does such a great job pulling up and walking around holding the rails - I'd hate to take that joy away from him! But I think I'm changing my mind. Gavin's nurse, Miss Kim, has recommended a Sleep Safe Bed several times to me. She has one for her son and loves it! For a while, I rejected the idea - hating the thought of adding a "medical type" bed to his room. But I think I'm going to look into it. Gavin's insurance may even cover it! You can check them out on their website - I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I think what hurts sometimes is having to purchase "different" things that remind me that my child is "different". It's a glaring reminder. But I also have to remember that purchasing "different" things enables my child to feel normal. And at the end of the day, it really is all about him. Besides...every little boy deserves a "big boy bed", don't you think?
Just wanted you to know that not only did this post bring tears to my eyes, (happy tears), your blog in general has made me appreciate my children, all the more!!! Thank you for the perspective and for a view of such a dedicated mommy and happy happy family!!
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