Onward and Upward...

Monday morning will find me back in the Fertility Clinic.

Back to square one.

I don't know what to say, how to feel, what to think...but I'm not giving up. At least not yet. I'm not as sad as I have been in previous months for some reason. It's impossible to feel cheated when I watch these kinds of things happening right under my nose...

God, I love these little boys of mine.

So, onward and upward it is. I have kept myself very busy over the last couple days - partly as a way to distract myself from feeling disappointed. Each year - sometimes twice a year - I participate in a huge children's consignment sale called "Just Between Friends". It is rather time consuming to tag each individual item - but worth it. I've made some pretty decent money selling at these sales. I started going through our basement (which would probably earn us a spot on the show "Hoarders" at the moment) and sorting through the clothes and toys that I'm tired of holding onto. Part of me feels that letting go of these things that I've been "saving for the next baby" will somehow open me up for that baby to come into our lives. Murphy's Law Baby. I have bags of clothes that we bought for Darcy - and every time I see them I feel sick. It might be time to sell them and make someone as happy as I was when I bought them.

Gavin had Physical Therapy with Miss Wendy today and worked so hard. I took a few videos so you can see his workouts! Today she zoned in on his tummy, leg, lower back and neck muscles. It's amazing how strong he's become!!

Here's Gavin working on his tummy muscles and his legs...

Working out his lower back...

And here Miss Wendy is pretending they're rowing a boat - which forces Gavin to control his neck muscles...use his lower back muscles...and strengthen his tummy muscles!

Miss Katja was a big help assisting Wendy during therapy. Gavin works much better when there's motivation, so Katja held up one of his favorite toys to encourage him to stand.

Wendy was amazed at how many times he squatted and pushed himself back up. His upper thigh muscles (whatever they're called!) are getting real strong, too!!

She also had Gavin walking in his walker. I'm throwing this question out to anyone who has a Nurmi Neo - or really any walker. The issue we have with Gavin is that the walker gets away from him. He hasn't learned to control it yet. The wheels don't have any settings that help slow it down. I've added hand weights to the front and sand bags to the back hoping to weigh it down, but that hasn't helped much. I figure there has to be some kind of homemade remedy to add friction to the wheels. If anyone has any suggestions, please pass them along!

I also wanted to put our other dilemma out there to solicit advice. Gavin constantly puts his hand in his mouth. We want to stop this behavior (along with his other mouthing behaviors) but nothing we've done so far has worked. You could stimulate his mouth with an electric toothbrush or a Nuk brush for an hour and he'd still seek the inappropriate behaviors. I've thought about putting something on his hands - think "lemon juice" or "bitter apple" - but I would worry about him rubbing his eyes. Has anyone dealt with this and could pass on some suggestions??

I'll end with some exciting news. Gavin's bed is in the works! I submitted the bill to our insurance company and they should be sending us the check within a few weeks. We'll then send it to the gentleman at Cyr Designs in Maine so he can start building it! I have been obsessed with choosing a color for the sidewalls (that are made of marine awning - read: easy to clean!) to match his room. The bed is pretty huge - over six feet tall and over seven feet wide. I'm actually considering switching Gavin back to his old room - maybe. This bed will cover up one of the cool trees we have on his wall. I guess we'll have to see when it gets here. I'm happy to have something to look forward to...